Hi Sarah! How’s the next book going? Thought it would be out by now. Can’t wait to read!
It feels like a threat. I’ve noticed fans are becoming more impatient for the next book, and I’m worried they’ll lose interest by the time I release it.
A lump forms in my throat, and I quickly shut my phone off. How the hell am I supposed to focus on writing the next book? I sit up in bed, cradle my head in my hands, half-tempted to fire back a response.
Hi there!
The book isn’t ready yet. Actually, I haven’t written a word! I’m a bit behind schedule because…
The previous owner of my house went missing.
No one knows who the fuck she is.
My husband’s cheating on me.
And ever since we moved in, my cat Reaper’s been acting strange.
Oh, and also! I can’t remember where the hell my anti-depressants are (like they even work, ha!). I usually keep them on my desk, but they (along with Amanda and her dog!) seem to have disappeared.
So sorry about this! Also, please don’t look too closely into my past—you won’t like what you find there.
Okay, super. Thanks—bye!
I stare at my desk in the half dark. I take two fifty-milligram anti-depressants at the same time each day, right when I wake up. But they’re gone. I swear I had an entire box left. My doctor’s voice echoes through my bedroom.
Make sure you don’t run out, okay?
I rub my temples, massaging the headache away. I’ve had nonstop stress headaches ever since we moved in. And now I’ve got to find the time to go to the doctor’s and get my prescription refilled.
They’re watching you.
I sigh. When I raise my head, it feels heavy. My eyes fix on the family of blackbirds. They look through me like I’m not even here, and something about it chills me.
I feel so mentally exhausted, like I could sit here in my bed for weeks. A part of me still wants to run downstairs to Joe and unload all I’ve been carrying. But we’ve never had that sort of marriage. Our entire relationship, I’ve tried to be a team with him, but he doesn’t want to be my teammate.
Makes me wonder why he hasn’t cheated on me before this.
And then the thought hits me: Unless he has.
I cover my eyes with the back of my palm, but tears spill down, hot and unwelcome. I cover my face with both hands, though I don’t know why. It’s not like anyone’s here to see me.
Or maybe there is.
They’re watching you.
I sit there for the longest time, hands cupped over my face, breathing into my palms. And all I can think is, I’m going to lose it all. My marriage. My career. This house, even. If Joe and I divorce, he gets half of it, and I can’t afford to buy him out. I was once so clever. I had a plan. I had direction. Now I’ve gone and lost it all.
The straightforward pathway had been lost.
The words fill my mind like someone’s standing over me, whispering. I raise my head from my hands, startled. Where have I heard that before? Then I remember: the book in the library.
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.
It feels like it was written just for me.
I shake the thoughts off, suck in one long breath. Get it together. Come on. I chew my lip, thinking. Darren might have blocked me on Instagram, but that doesn’t stop me from finding him again with a new account.
