And felt relief instead of destruction.
Pretend I could keep doing this.
Footsteps.
"Alex."
Liam's voice.
Fuck.
"Go back to your girlfriend," I said without turning around.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're here."
I turned.
He was standing ten feet away. Jacket off. Sleeves rolled up. Tie loosened. Looking at me with an expression that demolished every wall I'd try to build to get through this weekend.
"Don't do this," I said.
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that. Follow me out here." My voice was tight and my composure holding by a thread. "Act like the last two weeks didn't happen."
"Alex, I said we should deal with this after the weekend."
"You say it like I'm some sort of problem. I can't do this anymore… not with her at your side."
"I'm trying to do the right thing—"
"Therightthing." I almost laughed. "Is that what we're calling sleeping with me and Emily ate the same time?"
"What do you want me to say, Alex?"
"I want you to stop lying. To her. To yourself. To me."
"I'm not—"
"Yes, you are." I moved closer. "You're lying every time you touch her. Every time you introduce her as your girlfriend. Every time you pretend what's between us doesn't exist."
"Wecan't—"
"Can't what? Be honest?" I was in his space now. Close enough to see his chest rising and falling. Close enough to smell him. "You think I didn't feel you in that boat Thursday? Didn't hear it in your voice when you called that power ten?"
His face flushed. "Alex—"
"You want me," I said. Rough and raw, no performance left. "Just admit it. For once in your life, be honest."
"Of course I want you!" The words exploded out of him—louder than either of us expected, echoing off the brick walls ofthe hallway. "You think this is easy? Watching you. Being near you. Knowing I can't—" He stopped. Breathing hard. "Knowing I can't have you."
"You could have me." My voice cracked. "Right now. If you just chose—"
"Chose what? Coming out? Risking everything?"
