I didn't answer.
My father's eyes were steady on mine.
"That story requires a certain outcome," he said. "A demonstration that the pairing works. That rowing with a Riverside athlete doesn't compromise Kingswell standards but enhances them."
He paused.
"I don't believe that story serves anyone's interests. Least of all yours."
My hands were flat on the table again. Pressed there to keep them still.
"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked.
"I want you to consider what outcome best serves your future."
"Are you saying I should drop out?"
"No."
His voice was mild. Patient. The patience of someone who'd never lost a negotiation because he'd never entered one he hadn't already won.
"Pulling out implies retreat. What I'm suggesting is a measured decision. A minor setback now—a strained muscle, fatigue, nothing that reflects poorly on your conditioning—prevents a larger problem later. Maybe you just don't do well in tomorrow's scrimmage."
The room felt smaller. The murmured conversations, the soft music, the clink of silverware—all of it pressing in.
"You're asking me to throw the scrimmage?" I asked.
"I'm asking you to protect what we've built."
We.
Alwayswe. Like my life was a shared construction project and he held the blueprints.
"The joint program was never supposed to work," he continued. "It was a fluke. Some goodwill. Community engagement. It was not supposed to become a platform for Riverside athletes to demonstrate that they can match Kingswell's caliber."
"Liam is better than anyone expected," I said.
The words came out before I'd thought about them. Before I'd controlled them.
My father's expression didn't change, but something behind his eyes shifted. Just slightly. Just enough.
"That's not the point," he said.
"It's exactly the point. You don't want the inivitational to go well because if it does—it proves Eldridge was right. That you were wrong to oppose it."
What did I just say? Shut up Alex.
I kept going. "You can't control Eldridge so you're trying to control me instead."
Silence.
I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't take it anymore. One honest thing at a time. Would I throw the race? Maybe be I still would but at least I was standing up to him.
"Alexander."
He paused for a long time.
"This program exists because of this family. The boathouse, the equipment, the coaching staff—the funding that made all of that possible came mostly from one source. I don't think I need to enumerate which source."
