She kissed me back.
Her lips were soft, familiar, and tasted like chapstick and salt from tears.
But something was off. Not wrong exactly. Just not right. Like putting on a jacket that used to fit but didn't anymore—sleeves too short, shoulders too tight, something fundamental changed that made it impossible to pretend nothing was different.
When I pulled back, her eyes were still searching mine.
"Okay," she said. "Let's try again."
Tell her. Right now. Tell her you didn't mean it.
I didn't.
"Yeah."
"I need to work on trusting you again. And you need to work on letting me in." She said it like a plan, like something we could fix with effort and good intentions. "We can do that, right?"
"Right."
Another lie.
Emily wiped at her face one more time, then managed a small hopeful smile.
"I should get to class. Text me later? Maybe we can get dinner this week."
"Yeah. Definitely."
She squeezed my hand and let go.
I watched her walk back toward Riverside's campus until she disappeared into the flow of students heading to class.
I leaned against the railing and looked down at the water. Dark enough that my reflection was just a vague shape against the moving current.
My phone sat heavy in my pocket.
I should text Alex. Tell him what just happened. That Emily and I were trying again. That whatever had been happening between us—
I pulled out my phone. Opened messages. Found his name.
Stared at the blank screen and thought about what I' say.
Hey, so I'm back with Emily. Saturday night was a mistake.
Except it wasn't a mistake. That was the problem. But I couldn't do it.
It's just physical, I told myself, shoving the phone back in my pocket.I don't owe him anything.
The words felt true and false at the same time.
I stood there alone on the bridge between Riverside and Kingswell. Between Emily and Alex. Between the person I was supposed to be and whoever the fuck I actually was.
I'd come here planning to end it.
Instead, I'd locked myself into lying more. Into pretending I could be what Emily needed when I couldn't even figure out what I wanted.
And I couldn't text Alex. Couldn't tell him. Couldn't close that door because some part of me wasn't ready to.
I chose Emily.
