Hot water hit my shoulders. Ran down my back, over my chest, my stomach. The heat sank into my muscles, loosening the tension even as my mind stayed wound tight.
I closed my eyes.
Immediately: Liam's face.
The way he'd looked at me in his dorm room—green eyes intense and full of desire. His hands on my ribs, then my hips, gripping like he couldn't get enough. The taste of his dick.
My body responded before I could stop it.
Heat pooling low. Arousal building despite the exhaustion, despite everything.
I braced one hand against the tile. Let my forehead rest against my forearm. The water pounded against my back, almost too hot, streaming down my spine trying to gu me back from my thoughts.
I didn't touch myself.
Just stood there. Feeling it. Acknowledging it.
That was the truth I'd been trying to out-row, out-discipline, out-control for over a year. Maybe longer.
What I felt for Liam—whatever it was—wasn't a phase. Saturday night had proved that. Liam was all I wanted for the last year and I'd been trying to deny it. The way my body had known exactly what it wanted. The relief of finally giving in.
These feelings were part of me and hiding them forever wasn't possible.
I turned off the water. Grabbed my towel and dried off mechanically—legs, torso, hair. Got dressed.
Everything felt heavy.
Walking back to my dorm through the late-afternoon light, my legs ached with every step. A good ache. The kind that meant I'd actually worked instead of just going through the motions.
Tomorrow at the Kingswell boathouse, both teams would mix for the first time—and he would be there.
Excitement rose in my chest at the thought of seeing him again—his green eyes, and the smile he made when he was happy and trying to hide it.
Twenty-four hours until I had to stand next to him, row near him, exist in the same space—and pretend Saturday night hadn't changed everything.
I didn't know if I could do it. Didn't know if the performance would hold, or if it would finally crack open and everyone would see what I'd been hiding.
But Derek's voice settled in my chest:One step at a time.
And somewhere beneath the exhaustion and the fear, a sense that everything was going to change.
Honesty was working on me, whether or not I was ready.
Chapter 5: Liam
The bridge was cold under my hands.
Five-thirty in the morning. Pre-dawn. October air sharp enough to make my breath fog with every exhale. The Riverwalk Bridge stretched across the dark water between Riverside and Kingswell, and our team walked across it in loose formation—burgundy warmups and mismatched gear, the underdog energy we always carried.
Jace led the way without trying. Just naturally at the front, shoulders squared, steady. That's what made him captain—not the speeches or the authority. Just the way he moved through the world like he knew where he was going.
Something I craved: certainty.
Tyler walked beside me, cradling his wrapped hand. "My hand's fucked, and I still showed up. Is that dedication... or stupidity?"
"Both," I said.
He grinned. "Probably."
