Once I’m eating, he joins me. His T-shirt stretches across his chest, and his jeans are snug against his thighs. He’s so fucking sexy, even when he’s not trying.
“Rosie, we need to talk.”
I choke on my pancake, and he passes me the water while pouring my Diet Coke.
“Sorry. I’m jittery because of dinner with my parents tonight, and I don’t want to go without us chatting.” His hands tremble around his coffee. He takes quick breaths.
Niki’s struggling, and I don’t know how to help anymore because I’m what’s causing it.
I shove more food into my gob.
“The thing is, what happened yesterday, when you gave me the best climax of my life,” he says, pausing to ensure I heard, and oh fuck, did I hear.
The best?
“I didn’t mean for you to leave without us chatting. You said to the barman you couldn’t stop thinking about what we did. I can’t either.”
I drop my cutlery as the flashback of shouting that as the barman spoke to Niki comes rushing back.
I press my fingers against my mouth. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that. Well, I did while I was drunk, but I wouldn’t have said that if I was sober.”
“But I needed to hear it. You’re perfect, beautiful, and everything I want. When I’m with you, I’m beyond happy. You give me the safe space I haven’t had for a long time.”
“There’s a but coming.”
His eye twitches. “But what you said in the car on the way home was right. Tabi comes first, and you don’t need someone like me getting in the way of your future.”
He’s speaking my thoughts, but when he says it, it’s like he’s telling me what I can’t do, and I’m fed up with people saying that to me. “Can I speak?”
“Please do before I mess up.” I’m reminded of his vulnerability when he squeezes his cup like he’s trying to crush it.
“I want you, Niki. I’ve wanted you for months. But you’re right. This job means I can provide for Tabi. I can’t risk that.” It doesn’t stop my neediness, though. “Can I ask you something?”
He nods.
“You’re not just saying it was the best to placate me, right? I haven’t given many blowjobs. I enjoyed it, it was fucking glorious, especially when you—” I squeeze my eyes closed. “All I mean is, was it okay?”
He swallows, eyeing my throat where I’ve put his chain and ring on my neck.
“It was the sexiest moment of my life. I never thought I’d experience that kind of pleasure again. Every time I think about your mouth wrapped around my dick, your big brown eyes staring up at me when you slipped your hand in your knickers and moaned as you sucked me, and then how youcame on my fingers, I nearly blow.” He clears his throat noisily. “Does that answer your question?”
I nod because I want to squirm in my chair, but I can’t after what we discussed.
“Was I really the first man to make you come?”
“Yes. But I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Okay. But if you do at any point, I’m right here.” I nod even though there’s no chance. “There’s one other thing you said last night?—”
“Shit, please don’t remind me.” I cover my face, waiting for what I can’t recall.
“Eyes on me,” he says softly. The last time he said that I was kneeling in front of him and he was moments from sliding his fingers inside my knickers.
I open my eyes and find him peeking between my fingers.
“You said last night you wanted to be the old Rosie as well as a new one. You haven’t experienced many things, so I wondered…”
My head says,Please don’t say anything sexual, but my pussy says,Please say orgasming while riding your dick and you praise me.
