“You don’t need to. Keep being you. You’re all I need.”
We’re saying big words for two people who can’t be more than what we are.
Sasha appears from behind me, doing a silent dance so as not to wake Tabi but still making enough noise to distract me from the chiselled, beaming king of sex, sweetness, and tattoos standing outside.
“I’ll leave you to your day. I’ll call you on the tablet when I get home from collecting Graham. Rest up, baby.”
I grip the phone tighter. He called me baby, and even though I’ve had no sleep and look like shit, I lick my lips and wave at him.
He tips his head and hangs up.
If not for my dancing housemate and the sad sleeping child around me, I’d be diving into my room and using my favourite vibrator to the memory of his words.
CHAPTER 36
Niki
The scent of roasting asphalt mixes with burnt rubber and sweaty rushing engineers.
Senna explains something to Jacs. I breathe, filling my soul with the frenetic energy accompanying a garage during a grand prix. Although next weekend is the race drivers are fond of—Monaco—this Italian track in Emilia-Romagna has a special place in my heart.
I met my racing hero, Petre Piaf, here.
This is also where I met Clara. She was beautiful and paused my feckless playboy ways for over six months before my crash.
But it’s Rosie that I ache for now.
I’ve messaged her all week, but I still miss her. I’m unsure if I’m missing her because she’s the only person I let physically into my space or because she’s the woman I’m falling for.
Cars thunder around the track with the frenzy of a race in the last twenty laps. I lean forwards, watching the screens. Connor tries to pass Marco from Vessa. We’re testing them this season. With drivers like Connor and Tawny, plus more investors, we’re contenders.
Connor has the power and the presence. Marco wavers across the track.
“You got this, Connor,” I murmur as he searches for a gap.
They’re nearing a corner, Ganella from Germany is behind, and if Connor isn’t careful, they’ll pinch him and he’ll be forced back. Marco prepares for Connor’s attack as they battle for second place.
I want that battle. I want to be on the track, risking it all and getting that rush.
He’s got a couple of seconds to overtake before the corner stops them. My heart rate climbs as Connor levels with Marco. Marco refuses to relinquish his space. They’re millimetres from touching, but Connor doesn’t relent. He takes the risk. As he passes and gets ahead, the pit crew cheers.
He hollers over the radio, and I shake my head with a smile. He was always good, but since dating Senna, he’s been incredible.
Jacs mumbles something as Connor holds his place on the next corner and fires his engine.
I glance at my phone. Rosie said she’d check on the dog sitter and Graham today. I hope she’s got the house key I left in her desk drawer.
“Are you enjoying Italy?” Jacs asks. “You’re smiling a lot these days.”
“It’s incredible. It makes me want to race.”
She nods and turns back to Senna. I check the message from Rosie.
Rosie: Graham misses you, but the dog sitter’s brilliant. Tabi got a cuddle. She’s a happy little girl. I told Graham his daddy would be home tonight, and I swear he grinned. See.
The photo of Tabi cuddling Graham makes me tip my head and smile. I want to race, but I want this, too.
Senna glances over and raises her eyebrows. I quickly type my reply.
