The tension around me is palpable. If this goes according to plan, she’ll be back out and will only lose one track position, which, with fresh tyres, she can get back within a couple of laps.
She nears the garage.
This is it.
I lean closer to the screen.
The change should only take three seconds.
I hold my breath as the crew jumps at her car with their well-developed skills. It’s like time stands still as the car’s jacked, the tyre gunners remove wheel nuts, tyres are removed, fresh ones go on, and the wheel nuts are fitted.
It’s nearly seamless, and within 3.2 seconds, Tawny drives away.
As much as I’m considering improving the workings of the team, I wish I were in that car. I want to be fighting for my track position. I close my eyes and breathe slowly, but the ache to be out there, adrenaline coursing through me as I make last-minute decisions and risk everything, is like a pain in my chest that won’t disappear.
“Niki,” Senna says, pulling me from my thoughts, “what did you think of the tyre change?”
“It was good. I’m curious to study it again, though. I might review the videos when I’m back in the office next week.”
“To see where they can improve?”
I catch the glint in her eyes she would get when she was Director of Comms and dreaming a new social media strategy. “Yes. I want Coulter Racing to be the best, and if something can be improved, I’ll find it.”
“You had good ideas about our tyre strategy and advised me about racing today.” Her voice wavers a little. This was a big race for her. Last season, she was a newbie boss, but now she’s a contender and, for some, the enemy.
“You already had a great race strategy. It’s paying off.” I point at the screen. “I’d like to chat to Tawny. She’s drifting closer to the track limits. I watched some of last year’s races on the plane, and it’s one of her common errors, especially when certain drivers are close.”
“You watched last year’s races?”
“I saw most of them while away, but I refreshed while on the plane.” To attempt to control the unrelenting panic.
Senna holds out her hand, but I don’t take it. This trip has increased my anxiety, although Rosie lessened some of it with the changes she’d requested for my room and things like packing my stuff in plastic. She included sealed junk food in my bag in case I got too anxious about eating and needed a sugar boost. I wouldn’t have left the plane if not for her, and yet now I’m here, I’m a little like the old me.
I smile at Senna, and she returns it as if grateful, even though I rejected her. I hope she knows I’m trying.
“Would it be cheeky to book Tawny into the simulator with me this week?” I ask. “I could talk her through her races.”
“Not if you’re our team advisor.”
“Excuse me?”
“I want you to be an advisor for the team. You’ve got boundless knowledge, and we need you to improve. We can talk through it further when we’re back from Australia.”
I prepare my no. The travel and the hotel stays would be too much. But Senna holds her palm up. “Just consider it. And decide your terms and conditions.”
I rub my lower lip with my teeth.
“For me?”
I nod slowly as I recall Jacs’s words. Senna needs me.
My phone buzzes with a message.
Rosie: How are things? Is the team doing well? Are you doing well?
I tap my quick response.
Niki: Everything is fine. How are you, and why are you awake at 5 a.m.?
