“It’s achievable, but I’d like to reassess after Australia. I presume you’re travelling with us. We don’t need you as a reserve driver at practice, but I’d love your input and knowledge.”
Connor plays with the pen on my desk. My leg jiggles as Iwatch him twist it in his fingers, and I sit on my hands to stop from ripping it off him.
“I’ll travel alone. I must pick a place to stay and choose when to arrive at the track, too. I’ll do my job, but I want autonomy.”
Rosie quietly hovers in the doorway. I grip the beads tightly.
Senna purses her lips and stares at me. “If you must.”
“Control freak, much?” Connor mumbles, still twiddling my pen.
Senna glares at him. Her eyes soften as she turns to me, but I catch her rubbing the tattoo. Great. I’ve made her anxious again. “Are you doing okay, Niki? Are you stressed about driving because of your crash?”
“You saw me drive at the end of last year when we raced at the aerodrome. I’m not scared of driving,” I reply flatly.
My gaze flicks to Rosie, who waits patiently. Of course she’s early. She fiddles with the cuff of her blouse, but as I stare at her shifting awkwardly in her pencil skirt, I remember my thoughts from when we met.
More curves than Silverstone.
I try to delete the memory of her teasing me with her bra strap. She was glorious in her lacy turquoise and black underwear.
I want to believe I’d have given her an incredible night if she hadn’t been called away, but I’m scared I wouldn’t have let her touch me. Even with control, I’d have struggled to make it the night I’ve since fantasised about. And someone as sweet as her probably wouldn’t be into my power play games. Not that I know if I’m still into those.
“Then what’s wrong, Niki?” My sister’s question drags me to the present. “You spent last year using Connor to protect me while you were away, but you’re not letting medo the same for you. Why won’t you let me hug you, and why are you distant? I want to help. I miss my big brother.”
“Please talk to us, Niki. We miss you.” Connor fixes me with his stare as my shoulders hunch, and I squeeze my fist around the bracelet so tight it hurts.
“Hey, new boss,” Rosie announces, saving me from an awkward conversation I couldn’t have escaped alone. Connor probably joined Senna to stage an intervention. “Sorry, I’m early, but I’m keen to get started.”
As Connor and Senna stare at her, I mouth,Thank you. Her smile is like a drop of rain in a heatwave.
CHAPTER 16
Rosie
Senna and Connor left half an hour ago. Niki repeatedly wiped down his office chairs and my new laptop and phone before passing my new equipment to me.
I want to tell him it will be okay and there’s hope, but I can’t promise anything, so instead I sit patiently.
“At the moment, the exact nature of the job is woolly. I’m a reserve driver but want to get more involved in the business. I don’t like to be bored, but the other stuff might limit me.”
I nod as I doodle on my notepad with the pen he gifted me. Once Connor had rubbed his fingers all over it, Niki didn’t want it anymore. Staring at it reminds me of the journey he’s got ahead of him in accepting who he is now and in managing his health anxiety. “You mentioned last week about a nutritionist and a trainer.”
“Yes. I let myself go while I was travelling.”
I raise my eyebrows. The man who stripped down to his boxers in front of me hadn’t let himself go. He was panty-wetting hot. Shit. I don’t need that image in my head again.
“Let myself go from the perspective of a professionalracing driver. Racing drivers are slim and mostly muscle. You need physical endurance to sit in a tiny space in a small car for hours, sometimes in blistering heat. I need to be at peak fitness.”
“Have you recruited these people?”
“I’d like you to.” I try to hide my surprise that he’s entrusting me with this. The cute dimple on his right cheek proves I’ve given myself away. “You were a professional sports person. You understand the importance of good health.”
“I was seventeen. Some days I only ate fast food between games.” I smile, and his dimple deepens. “But I see your point. I took a nutrition module at university. Would you like me to speak to your counsellor? He’ll need your consent, but knowing what direction and speed he’s moving you will help. I don’t want to employ people who’ll derail his existing support.”
“You’re amazing.”
“You can say that again.” Unlike at the carpet company, where I was the office nepo baby, I like being valued for my skills. “I have such a praise kink.”
