I nibble on a biscuit to hide my smile. I want that.
“Your mummy is grumpy because she’s worried about me. But I want her to ask why Sunday’s race is important. Do you want to tell her, or shall I?”
“Me, me, me!”
These two are thick as thieves, and as much as it annoys me that there’s something I don’t know, my heart glows at their troublesome twosome dynamic.
“Go on then,” Niki says, nudging her.
Tabi grabs my face between her squidgy hands. She smells of soap and Niki’s aftershave. It’s the scent of my family.
“Sunday is Niki’s last ever race in Formula One, so we have to go. He says it’s big news.”
I gasp and stare at his grin as Tabi holds my face. “But Vessa,” I say between squished lips. “What about your future?”
“My future is on this bed—well, ideally on a bigger bed—but everything I want is right here.”
Graham huffs and falls asleep.
“But you can’t give up your future for me. I love you so damn much,” I say.
“Mummy, damn is a rudey word.”
Niki chuckles. His eyes are sparkling, and it’s like he’s a big glitterball version of himself.
“True. Sorry, Tabi. I meant to say, I really love Niki.”
“S’okay. I love him, too, and he loves us.”
“I really do.” He tickles Tabi until she’s screaming with delight. Graham opens his eyes and grumbles.
“Can we get back to the point?” I raise my voice. “Niki, you can’t give up the things you love for me. I’d never want that for you. You love driving. It’s what you’ve spent these last months chasing.”
“I was chasing the wrong things. You’re right. I love driving, but I want new challenges. Formula One was my dream, but now I have different dreams. I’m helping Senna find new drivers to train and develop. She’s starting an academy for young drivers, drivers who’d benefit from someone with a master’s in sports psychology who can work with them on their mental health.”
I hold my hand to mouth. “A place for me?”
He beams. “Once you’ve finished your master’s, you can work in the academy and change lives like you’ve changed mine and others.”
“It’s the future I wanted.” Tears slip down my cheeks. “But you won’t be racing anymore, and you love racing.”
“There are other races I can drive in, ones that don’t involve constantly travelling away from you. I want this future and to help you reach your dreams—if you’ll have me.”
I can’t stop sobbing. “You’re more than I could’ve dreamed. Thank you for being all I want and more.” I hold his hand and fix his stare as Tabi dives between us.
“You need a shower, Mummy.”
“Are you sure you want us, though?” I say, snivelling.
“Always and forever.”
CHAPTER 74
Rosie
Istand close to Senna as Niki drives the last three laps of his Formula One career.
Tabi and Sasha are exploring the city, as it was too overwhelming for her to be here. Connor bounces on his good foot as Niki overtakes Billy. He’s wound him up the entire race. He’s still a little envious of Scott. I’ve explained that his fears are unfounded and that no one will replace Tabi’s or my love for him, but I can understand why he’s a little insecure about it.
