“Of course. Tabi is the priority. I won’t even kiss you in front of her.”
Rosie grabs me by my hoodie and pulls me to her. I’d go willingly.
“You’re amazing. Now get to your call.”
I jump up, even though being inches, let alone metres, away from those beautiful lips is a travesty.
“I’ll bring food. Make me a list of what you both want, and I’ll pick it up.”
Her smile makes me grin as I stride to my desk.
The video call barely rings before I answer.
“Doc, how are you?”
“I’m doing well, Niki. You seem happy,” he replies as Rosie pulls my door closed. She’s got me when I don’t have myself.
“I’m good. Really good.”
“Before you go, Niki. I’ve got homework for you. It’s a question I want you to reflect on between now and our next session,” Dr. Ric says.
I eyeball the young George Clooney lookalike. “Go on.”
“You’ve talked today about how you’re feeling more like the old Niki,” he says, “but I’m interested in your thoughts about how you might never be that man again. You’ve seen and experienced new things, which will have changed your perspective. Think on that and also consider what it is you’re trying to get back.”
I hold my fist to my mouth as I study my ceiling. A couple of marks form a pattern I struggle to distinguish.
“Don’t answer now,” Ric adds. “You’ve made brilliant progress, from talking with your family to an intimate relationship that, when we started four months ago, had seemed impossible. You should be pleased with how hard you’ve worked.”
I nod as I consider what the point of progress is if I’ll never be who I was before. “See you next week, Doc.”
“Take care.” He hangs up.
I sit at my desk in silence. I have Rosie in my life now, and I’m not sure I’d have fallen for her as quickly in the past, but I want to be the driver I was and not be scared anytime someone touches me or comes close. I want to be enough for her and Tabi.
There’s a knock at my door. “Come in.”
I rub the furrows hurting my head.
“Niki,” Rosie says. Her face has lost its playful edge from an hour ago. “Senna wants you in Jacs’s area asap. It’s about the engine problem you discussed this week.”
“Great, thank you.”
She looks down. “There was another call.” She pauses as she fiddles with the hem of her T-shirt. “It was from Clara. She asked if you could call her. She said you have her number.”
I cock my finger.
“Close the door and come here,” I say, although my brain still froths with my conversation with Dr. Ric.
Rosie edges closer. She struggles to meet my gaze. I take her hand and pull her to my lap so she’s straddling me. My dick judders, but this isn’t playtime.
“You know Clara is my ex, don’t you?”
Rosie nods.
“I don’t want to be with her. I only want you.”
Rosie slides her palms under my sweater, and I shiver when she strokes my muscles.
