“I want that. I do,” she replies tentatively.
“But?”
She runs her fingers through her messy hair, wincing when she catches a knot. “But I’m not ready for Tabi to learn we’re together. She’s only ever had me, my family, and Sasha. She’s not ready for a new man in her mum’s life.”
“She is first in everything. I’ll do whatever I can to make this okay. What if we hung out a little bit more at yours? Not all the time, but maybe Graham and I could pop over this week and watch movies with you both?” I wait for her to say no. “Am I too pushy?”
I hold my breath until I see her soft smile. “Not too pushy at all. I’d like that, and she’d love to spend time with Graham. How do you feel about Disney movies?”
I chuckle. “Love them?”
“That’s a question rather than an answer, but I’ll take it. You’re sure you’re okay slumming it at mine? Because it’s not a massive mansion with plain furnishings. It’s a bit tired and tatty, like me, and there’s probably more risk to your health than at yours.”
“You think my furnishings are plain?” I tickle her, and she squeals as her soft body vibrates against me. I move between her thighs, and she opens them wider to me. “The designer was pretty pricey for those ‘plain furnishings.’”
“You overpaid. I bet IKEA sells the same.”
I tickle her more, and her giggles fill the memory box in my heart. They’re never leaving me now.
“I’ll be a little worried about my health, but you’ll be there for me if I need a moment.”
“I’ll make sure there are wet wipes and sanitiser everywhere.”
I brush my fingertips across her cheek and kiss her softly. Her thighs open wider. I want to fuck her, but I want this moment of talking and sharing, too.
“And you’re not tatty, far from it. I’m lucky you talk to me. I didn’t know what we did last night was possible, but you are a fucking angel, and I will keep calling you that until you believe it.”
Her smile gives me hope she believes me and doesn’t think these are lines I give everyone. Because they’re not.
“About what we did,” she says, biting her lip. “I wasn’t sure if it would be possible with your health anxiety.”
I stare down at her. “I don’t fully understand it either. Therapy helps. I’m returning to who I was. Sharing my worries with my parents and having their acceptance, driving, and bringing my skills and experience to the team helps, too, but it’s also because of you. Since we met in Greece, I’ve trusted you. I spoke to my psychologist yesterday morning while you were in my bed about some of this.”
Her eyes are wide. “Did you tell him I gave you a blowjob on your bathroom floor?”
I kiss her. I can’t get enough of her.
“No, but I said I’d been intimate with someone and it hadn’t freaked me out. Well, a bit about the way I used you.”
“You didn’t use me. I wanted that. It was so fucking sexy to be told what to do. I was wet all evening. Afterwards, at the bar, when men hit on me, all I wanted was to be with you, listening to your demands and praise.”
“Is that right? Do you like that I’m your sir?”
She nods and grins, although it wavers temporarily.
“You know that’s okay, right? I’m not saying let’s join a sex club where I can dominate you, but it’s okay for us to do alittle power play. I’ll always give you aftercare. I’ll do anything for you.”
She writhes against me.
“You can’t imagine all the ways I want to use this pretty mouth,” I say as I stroke her lower lip with my thumb. She opens her mouth and sucks my thumb hard. My cock thickens against her.
“But I need to say this before I fuck you so damn hard.”
She smiles around my thumb but doesn’t stop sucking it as she stares at me. My heart bottoms out, and my view fuzzes.
I swallow slowly. “I don’t know how I can do this with you when I can’t even let others hug me, but you make me safe, you always have, and I trust you. You accept my health anxiety and let me work through it rather than try to change me. Whatever happens, you won’t push me beyond my limits. We won’t be able to have overnights or anything, maybe ever, depending on how Tabi feels about me, but I’m all in with this. It isn’t just a fuck and back to normal. I’m here for you in whatever way you need, no matter what happens between us.”
“You’re it for me, Niki. Thank you for understanding me and what my life has to be like.”
