“Nothing feels special enough, and I don’t want to rush into anything. She’s gonna be stuck with it for life.
“Well, I was thinking maybe you could name her after her father. Ya know, Segwenna or something?” I’m about to ask him if he’s lost his mind when he starts to chuckle. He instantly goes still and silent when it makes the baby fidget in her sleep.
“Sorry, baby girl, I was just playing. Mommy’s right, you do need a special name.” He looks up from her to me, “You take your time, you’ll find it.”
“You know what's crazy?” I laugh a little myself. “I don’t even know what your real name is. All these years, I’ve only ever known you as Vike.”
“That’s all you ever need to know me as. I left my name behind me, with the past,” he admits, stroking our little girl's cheek and smiling sadly.
“You don’t want me to know it?” I hate how Vike keeps things from me. I know nothing about his life before Long Beach.
“I don’t mind; I’m just saying it ain’t relevant. It’s been a long time since anyone’s called me Miles Rigby.”
“Miles… I like it.” Though I’m not sure if I could ever call him by it. To me, he’ll always be Vike…My Vike.
“You know, when we spoke about my family the other night, it got me thinking.” I try to get him to open up.
“You should tell your mom that she’s arrived,” Vike tells me. “I know you don’t think she cares about you, but they’d wanna know.”
“I don’t think they’ll care.” I tried calling Mom back after that night she spoke to Greaser, and she didn’t answer. I haven’theard anything from her since. “I think she must have been drinking and looking for an outlet when she called.”
“You visited home with Lettie and Rory when he was born, don’t you wanna do the same with her?”
“That was different. I did that for Saul’s sake.”
“And how did it go?” Vike questions.
“It was fake.” I laugh sadly. “For Lettie's sake, Mom put on this big act; hugged me at the door, asked me how I was, but that look of hatred in her eyes showed any time Lettie wasn’t watching.”
“I’m sorry.” Vike shakes his head. “But they’re the ones missing out, darlin’.” He kisses the top of her head before getting up and carefully placing her inside the Moses basket on my side of the bed. “You and Mommy don’t need ’em. You got all the love you’ll need, right here in this room,” he tells her as he kisses her one more time, then slides back into bed to join me.
“How you feeling ’bout Raze?” I ask; he’s been so busy making sure we have everything we need since he’s been back, we haven’t had time to talk about the fact that he’s lost his friend and leader
“Devastated, mad, shocked,” he admits, wrapping me up tight. “The way you always feel when you lose someone who mattered.”
“Vike, I’d like to know what happened to your family. Whatever it is, it isn’t gonna?—”
“Tonight ain’t the night for that shit. It’s our first night together as a family. I don’t want to think about our pasts, or fuckin’ death. Not when we got something so precious lying beside us. It’s the future that matters, and she’s gonna have the best one I can give her.” He looks over my shoulder into her basket.
“She’s kinda awesome, isn’t she?” I smile, overwhelmed with pride at what I created.
“She is awesome,” he agrees, “just like her mom.” He kisses me, and I feel so lucky and loved that I let the tears spill.
I find him, sitting in the living room, alone in the dark. And he almost jumps out of his skin when I creep up behind him.
“Shit, Alicia, you scared the crap outta me.” He quickly puts the photograph he’s looking at back in his wallet. “Ya need something, did she wake up?” he asks, standing up and trying to discreetly wipe his eyes.
“No, she’s fast asleep. I got up to use the bathroom and saw you weren’t there.” I slowly step toward him and take his hand. “You’re sad?”
“No, I…I couldn’t be happier,” he assures me. “That’s the fuckin’ problem.”
“Problem?” I start to worry. Vike holds so much in; he was noticeably sad when I came in. How is being this happy a problem for him?
“Ignore me, I’m being silly. Go back to bed.” He kisses my forehead and smiles.
“No, Vike, we aren’t doing this…We aren’t keeping secrets from each other. I need to know what happened in your past.”
“You don’t.” He shakes his head.
