“Get outta my way.” She barges past me, letting herself inside and shaking her head at what she sees. “This place is a mess,you'rea mess.” She finishes looking around the cabin before rolling her eyes over me. “When was the last time you picked up around here?”
“Sorry, I wasn't expecting company,” I answer back sarcastically as I head to the refrigerator. “Anyone for a beer?” I offer, taking one out for myself, and when they both refuse, I shrug my shoulders, pop the cap off, and return to the couch.
“You don't need that, you need a shower.” Millie snatches the bottle from my hand before I have a chance to take the first sip.
“Ain’t like I’m goin’ nowhere, sweetheart.” I laugh at how pathetic my life has become. I’ve been in this cabin for almost eight weeks now, and I haven’t spent a single day of that time sober. The only face I’ve seen belongs to the woman from theclosest grocery store, and I’ve made sure I keep well stocked, so it doesn’t have to be often.
“That's where you're wrong, you’re coming home with us,” Millie informs me, and when I notice Dev looking as surprised as I am, I shake my head at him.
“Mill, you said you just wanted to check in on him,” he growls at her.
“I lied.” She smiles back at him cleverly, knowing he won’t be mad at her for long. The girl could chop his dick off, and he’d still be a simp for her.
“Long Beach ain't my home, anymore. I much prefer it here.” I rain all over her parade and let her know she’s had a wasted journey.
“Well, if you like it so much, you can come back here when you’ve done what I need you to do for me.”
“Mil?” Dev looks even more puzzled as he steps up beside her, questioning with his eyes what she’s doing.
“We need Vike to stop Alicia from marrying Greaser,” she explains, as if it's just that fuckin’ simple.
“Millie, Greaser is Vike’s club brother; there are rules against things like th–”
“Rules... are you kidding me? You can’t let a poor innocent girl marry a man she clearly doesn’t love because of a stupid fuckingclub rule.” She looks between us both.
“Alicia’s made her choice.” I shrug, pretending that that choice hasn't shattered me into a thousand pieces.
“She’s settling for him because she’s pregnant and she’s scared.” Millie sits beside me, looking at me as if I’m fuckin’ stupid. “You'rethe one she wants, Vike.”
“Then why the fuck did she agree to marry that cunt?” I laugh bitterly.
“Becausethiscunt never asked her,” she swipes back at me, making the smile drop from my face and my heart sink intomy stomach. “Greaser has promised her everything she wanted from you. He’s offering her what she needs, and you…you just bailed on her.”
“I didn’t fuckin’ bail...I left ’em to it. She fucked him, Millie; she agreed to be his wife. Did she expect me to stick around and watch them be happy together?” I swallow that bitter taste I get in my mouth whenever I think about it.
“Why? Why could you not watch someone you’ve proven you care so much about be happy? She’s just your best friend's sister?” Millie questions me with that clever look in her eyes again.
“Because she ain’t just my best friend's sister...I fuckin’ love her!” I stand up and yell at the top of my voice. “Ya happy? Is that what you drove all this way to hear? I’m in love with Alicia. I love her so much it fuckin’ kills, and I’m too damn weak and much too selfish to watch another man make her happy.” I confess everything I’ve been trying eight weeks to deny.
“Then what the fuck are you doin’ here, Vike?” Dev steps in, looking mad at me. “I told you to have that talk with her. I told you to make sure she knew how you felt.”
“And you were right; I’m scared,” I admit, hating how broken and weak I sound. “I’m petrified of loving her, and it’s got fuck all to do with Saul, and the fact he was my best friend. I’ll deal with him when hell catches up with me.”
“Whatareyou scared of?” Millie asks, stepping forward like she’s going to try and comfort me.
“He’s scared of losing her,” Dev explains for me, and the pity on his face comes from a deep, rooted empathy that he understands better than anyone.
“Death has come for every person I’ve ever loved. It took my parents, it took my sister, it even took my best fuckin’ friend. My love is a fuckin’ curse, and I won’t curse her with it.”
“But you’ll let her marry a man she doesn’t love, and live a life she doesn't want?” Millie makes it clear she doesn’t understand when she shakes her head and judges me.
“She wouldn’t have agreed to marry him if she didn’t think he could make her happy,” I tell her, sitting back down and sliding my hands through my hair.
“She’s pregnant, and she’s scared. She’d just lost the person who’s taken care of her her whole life, and she needed some reassurance,” Millie explains.
“I tried to be that person for her, but every time I did, she’d cast aside me for him.”
“She relates to Greaser; he lost a brother, too, the same brother whose baby she’s carrying. You know how important having Rory in her life is, and she wants to be that person that Lettie is for her.”
