“Millie, Vike made his choice. He left. I’ve dealt with it, and I’m moving on. This is how things are supposed to be.” I put on the same fake smile I’ve been wearing since the day he left because the truth is, nothing about this feels right. It should, but it doesn’t.
“You're sure you want to go through with this wedding? Alicia, we all know how you felt about Vike. Greaser’s a good guy, but is he really the guy you want?”
“I don't want a guy who bails. Me and my little girl need stability, and Greaser can give us that. I don’t wanna talk about this again,” I warn her, turning my back so I can head back and join the others.
“But do you love him?” she calls after me, loud enough to get everyone's attention.
“Yes,” I lie because, given time, I know I can learn to love him. Right now, everything still feels so raw. Once I truly get over the fact that Vike abandoned us, I can focus on falling in love with the man who actually loves me.
“Now, are we gonna play this diaper game or not?” I return to the table before she can tell from my eyes how heartbroken I am that that man isn’t Vike.
“You look exhausted.” Greaser helps me lower myself into bed, kissing me as he takes the tiara I’m still wearing off my head.
“I am exhausted,” I sigh, stroking my hand over my huge stomach and feeling bad when I see the big, shiny diamond on my finger. Greaser has given me so much in the short time we’vebeen together, and it almost feels like a betrayal that I still can’t bring myself to desire him.
He climbs into bed beside me, and I turn my back to him, facing the wall so he doesn’t see the tears in my eyes. I seem to have been hit with a fresh batch of hormones these past couple of days. It’s been harder not to think about Vike and, suddenly, everything that’s about to happen in my life seems so overwhelming.
“Come here.” He snuggles up behind me, kissing my temple and wrapping his heavy arm around my middle. I stiffen when I feel his cock press hard against my spine, and my stomach knots with that guilt again.
“Sorry, darlin’, but you can hardly blame me,” he whispers, smothering me with more kisses, and when his hand starts to lower, I take hold of it and move it back up to where it was.
“Come on, Alicia, I just wanna make you feel good. Pregnancy is supposed to make ya horny. Wrath says all Eden wants to do is fuck, these days.”
“Well, I’m not Eden,” I remind, feeling awful for still keeping the man waiting. He’s been so patient and understanding. I know I’m going to have to bite the bullet and give in to him soon. “And Eden’s not as pregnant as I am, yet.” I heave my body to turn and face him, taking his bearded jaw in my hand and stroking it softly. “I appreciate your patience. I just don’t feel very sexy right now.” I smile at him before forcing myself to kiss his lips.
“Saving it for the wedding night?” He smiles back at me hopefully, but instead of answering him, I tuck my head into his chest and try to fall asleep.
“Alicia. Alicia, wake the fuck up.” I wake up to Greaser shaking me, and wonder if I’ve been having another nightmare, then when I see him looking mad and slightly unhinged, I fear what he might have heard me crying out.
“Greaser.” I sit up as he shakes his head, pacing the bottom of the bed and clenching his fists. “Greaser, what’s wrong?” I yell out when he punches the wall.
“Why haven’t you told your parents about us?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“I barely speak to my parents,” I explain, confused as to what this is all about.
“Well, I just had a very interesting phone conversation with your mother. She was phoning to check in on you, and she had no idea that we were getting married next week.”
“Mom called, this late?” I look at the alarm clock, and it’s past two am.
“I was surprised, myself. I was scared something might be wrong, which is why I answered. She did sound drunk...but that's not the point. How come she had no idea about us, Alicia?” He breathes heavy through his nostrils as he crouches over the bed.
“It just must have slipped my mind to tell her. Like I said, we don’t speak often.” I laugh nervously as I get out of bed, desperate to pee now I’m awake.
“Or you're ashamed of me?” He bores his eyes into mine, daring me to lie.
“Greaser, I’m not ashamed of you. I just don’t have that kind of relationship with my parents.” I laugh some more, trying to lighten the mood as I make my way to the bathroom.
“Is that why you won’t sleep with me, because you're ashamed of who I am?” He rushes to block the door.
“No, don’t be silly. I told you–”
“You're lying! You can’t bring yourself to sleep with me because you don’t love me. You don’t love me, and you're scared you're gonna think abouthim.” He talks over the top of me.
“It's nothing to do with that, I’m just?—”
“I’m sorry I can’t be fuckin’ Griller. I’m sorry I can’t raise him from the dead for you, but I’m doin’ the best I can!” he yells at me, his eyes filling with tears. “You never say it. I tell you all the time how much I love you, and you never say it back.”
“Greaser, please, can you just let me get to the bathroom. I really need to go.” The baby seems to like pressing on my bladder these days, and when I have to go... Ireallyhave to go.
