“Oh, Kitten, it’s okay. Here, let D…let me clean that up for you. We don’t have to cry over spilled milk. We have plenty more, and if not, I’ll run out and get some—”
“This isn’t milk, Henry! My water broke. My water broke, and we’re…we’re going to have a baby! It’s time to meet our son.”
She’s laughing and crying happy tears now, and Mother is basically sobbing across the kitchen. The ringing that fills my ears matches the black spots taking over my vision, and I hear Katarina scream before everything goes black.
“He has no allergies, no known medical history, and no surgical history. No, he doesn’t take any medications. Yes, he works out, as you can clearly see.”
My Kitten’s claws are out, and I can’t wait to open my eyes and see who she’s dressing down.
“If that’s all, it would be lovely if you could get on with your exam, and I can take him with me to the labor and delivery floor so I can check in and start giving birth!”
Her voice cracks in pain at the end, and I wrench open my eyes to find a gaggle of female physicians and nurses all staring at me. I’m shirtless, and somehow my pants are gone. I’m lying with my feet hanging off a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors. Katarina is holding onto her stomach with one hand and my bed rail with the other, face scrunched up in pain. Shit.
I sit up, feeling like Frankenstein’s creature, with all the cords tangling and machines beeping. Luckily, my mother bursts into the room, a man in a suit trailing her. Every employee in the room snaps to attention, and I’m thankful once again for my mom’s uncanny ability to get what she wants and get things handled.
“As you can see, Mr. Ford, your employees are ogling my son instead of clearing him from what was obviously a fainting spell. His wife is in labor, and this delay is not why I donate to this hospital!”
The physician in charge, I assume, tries to defend herself to the man I now recognize as the CEO of the hospital, but once he hears that all my tests have been negative, I’m swiftly given a pair of hospital scrubs, pants far too short, and allowed to leave. The trip to L&D was a blur, and I vomited when Katarina got her IV and when she got her epidural. It all feels like a fever dream that I’m just now waking up from.
“You actually yelled at multiple people to do something about my pain, even the anesthesiologist who was trying to help.” Her eyes are kind, even as tired as she looks from her labor already, and I’ve never seen her so beautiful.
“I wanted to kill them all every time you screamed,” I mumble, playing with the up-sized replicas of her engagementand wedding bands she’s been wearing since her fingers started to swell. When she told me that many women get cheaper, larger bands or forgo wearing rings altogether, I immediately had exact replicas made for her so she wouldn’t have to go a day without them. I think they bring me more comfort than they bring her, by far.
“I should have been present and here with you all day. I’m so sorry, Kitten, for losing my mind and making today harder than it had to be.”
She rewards me with a soft kiss. “I forgive you. But the hard part is still to come, and so help me if you don’t man up and get it together for the rest of this experience, this boy will be the only kid you ever get out of me. I might scream, cry, poop, throw up…I don’t even know, maybe all four at once. But you’ve watched the videos and read the books. You know my birth plan. I need my partner.”
Well, when she puts it like that, I feel even more like a piece of shit. I’m Henry fucking Sinclair. I should be a pillar of calm help for my wife, not contributing to her distress in any way. It’s time to pull it together.
“Anything you need, Kitten. I’m here. Daddy’s back.”
“Alright, Dad, are you ready to catch?”
Am I ever. I practiced with lube-coated fruit, and if I can catch a slippery cantaloupe that Jack Carter launched at me like a grenade, I can catch my son as he enters the world for the firsttime. With one last push, Katarina leans back heavily onto her pillows, and the tiny bundle is safely in my hands.
So small, and so much hair.
“Congratulations, you two! It’s a boy!”
My son.
I’m weeping as I place him on my wife’s chest, my tears mingling with hers as she sobs. Nurses clean him off and tend to her, but we’re in a bubble of awe looking at the life she’s just produced. Finally, he goes to be weighed and swaddled, and I cradle my love’s face gently in my hands.
“Thank you, Katarina. I’ll never be able to repay you for what you’ve given me. He’s perfect. Ourson.”
“I love you, Henry. Your giant baby almost just killed me, but I love you.”
“Giant? He looks so small in my hands…”
“Nine and a half pounds!” the nurse proclaims, bringing the screaming bundle back to us. I take him gently, still thinking that he seems small, and kiss his head before helping settle him onto Katarina and grab a bottle. Now that he’s lying on her chest, I can actually agree he looks much bigger than when I’m holding him…
We’re left alone while he eats, and I can’t stop looking at my family. My beautiful wife. My big, strong boy. There’s no way to adequately tell her what this moment means to me.
“You’ve given me everything, Kitten. I was such a shell when you burst into my life,” I whisper, and I realize I’m crying again. Or perhaps I never stopped. “You’ve colored in every stark, drab corner of my soul and made it magical to live. I’ll never be able to thank you enough. You’re everything. And look at how well you’ve done, darling. He’s perfect. You made us the perfect baby.”
“You had a hand in it, too, I seem to recall. Although I agree, the hard parts were all me, and I gladly take all the credit.”
We exist for a bit, just the three of us, watching our little guy eat, burp, and sleep. Finally, there’s a soft knock on the door, and Mom pokes her head in. I’m actually impressed with the restraint she’s shown in waiting until now, then I notice the red blooming on her neck and Ivan straightening his jacket, and I realize she's been busy with her own activities.
