I didn’t speak. Couldn’t.
“I realized I missed home a lot. I went to London for my best friend, but I needed to come back home for... me.”
“Does it feel like home?”
“No. Not until now.”
I let out a slow breath. “Lune... ”
She looked at me then, full-on, no flinching. “I didn’t come back for Dirks. I came back for me. But also... I think I came back hoping I hadn’t lost you. Not completely.”
Something cracked inside me.
“I used to think you were the only person who really saw me,” she whispered. “Even when I didn’t want to be seen.”
I swallowed. “This friends shit is hard.”
Luna gasped so loudly, heads turned. She dropped her spoon and slapped a hand over her chest. “Did Jeremy...share his feelings?”
“Shut up,” I muttered, fighting a smirk as I shoved a forkful of pasta in my mouth.
She was still laughing when she leaned over, eyes gleaming. “Gimme a bite.”
I rolled my eyes, but my hand was already holding the fork out to her. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“I know,” she said with a smirk. “I’m everyone’s favorite.”
29
luna
Jer was right, this whole “friends” thing? Total bullshit. Because all I wanted to do was crawl into his lap, tug on his hoodie strings, and tell him I missed him like air I’d been deprived of.
But nooo, we were beingmature adultsnow. Gross.
I wiped my mouth and leaned back in my chair, one brow lifted. “So... you gonna keep hogging the pasta, or do I have to stab you with a fork?”
He snorted, sliding the plate toward me. “You’ve always been violent.”
“And you’ve always liked it,” I shot back, spinning some noodles around my fork. “Tell me what happened with rehab.”
Jeremy leaned back in his chair and dragged his hands through his dark hair. “Went in. Stayed a while. Longer than they expected me to, honestly,” he said with a dry laugh. “Thought I’d come out ready to take on the world.”
My heart twisted. His laugh held no humor.
“Instead, Arthur got sick right after. I brought him to Chicago, got him every fucking treatment under the sun. I wentinto debt—like, scary amounts of it—and spent everything I had trying to keep him alive. When it was clear he wasn’t gonna make it, I lost my shit again. I ended up checking myself into another inpatient center. Mental health-focused this time. Couldn’t breathe without feeling like the world was collapsing.” He paused, swallowing hard. “He died anyway. You know the rest.”
I reached across the table, not even thinking, but my hand froze midair. There was so much I wanted to say, and no version of it felt like enough.
“I’m sorry I left you the way I did,” I whispered. “You?—”
“Fuck no, Luna. Don’t apologize. If it wasn’t for what you said to me, I would’ve probably died. I was really fucking out of it back then. I didn’t need you sticking around and lighting yourself on fire to keep me warm.”
“I get sponsorships now. I could help. Pay some of the debts?—”
“Absolutely not.” He lifted a firm hand. “That would fucking offend me.”
“Okay. What can I do?”
