Yeah. I was fucked. Again.
20
dirks
We walked down the path to her house in silence. The cold bit at our cheeks, breath fogging in the night air as we picked up the pace, her hair swinging with every step. When we reached the guesthouse, she kicked the door open with the toe of her sneaker and stepped inside, the heat hitting us.
“It’s small... ” she started, brushing snow off her sleeves, but I didn’t hear the rest.
I was awestruck.
Not by the size, but by how much it looked and felt like her. There was soft lighting, a candle burning on the windowsill, and mismatched mugs drying in the rack. A fuzzy blanket was tossed over the couch. Plants—some alive, some hanging on by a thread—lined the windows. A pair of fuzzy socks sat abandoned near the door.
“I love it,” I said honestly, stepping fully inside and shutting the cold out behind us.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “It’s . . . perfect.”
She bit her bottom lip, toeing off her sneakers, then turned to face me. Guilt was written all over her face.
“Dirks . . . I’m so sorry.”
I set the grocery bag down on the small kitchen counter, the sound echoing louder than it should’ve. “Luna?—”
“No. Let me say it first.” She stepped toward me, her eyes wide and pleading. “I should’ve told you. I should’ve said something, but it wasn’t my place to say anything for their protection.”
I crossed my arms, leaning against the counter. “I’m not gonna lie. I was upset. Not just about Scarlette. About all of it. You kept me in the dark about something huge.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I know. And I hate that I hurt you. We promised we’d keep what we had separate from their story.”
I looked at her, trying to find the version of her I’d first reconnected with—the one who’d let me in easily. “Yeah, we promised. But I didn’t realize that meant keeping a secret baby out of the loop.”
Her shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t about keeping her from you. It was about protecting Scarlette.”
I exhaled slowly. “You should’ve trusted me.”
“I know.” She took another step, her voice trembling. “I’m trying. I want to. I’m still learning how to be a good partner.”
I wrapped her in my arms, holding her and rubbing slow circles along her back as her breath evened out against my chest. When she finally pulled away, I kissed the top of her head, then turned to the bag I’d dropped on the counter.
“If nothing else,” I said, reaching in, “I’m going to feed you.”
“You brought dinner?”
“Of course I did. You look like you’ve been living off coffee and protein bars.”
I started pulling out containers, stacking them on the counter as I spoke. “Soup. Bread. Those cookies you pretend you don’t like but always eat when you think no one’s watching.”
She laughed softly, the sound loosening the tension in the room just a little.
I glanced at her, brow raised. “So... is there anything else?”
She chewed the inside of her lip, eyes dropping to the table. “Yes,” she whispered.
My hand froze over the bag. I closed my eyes for a beat, thankful my back was turned so she couldn’t see the way my jaw clenched or the breath I had to slowly force out.
Of course there’s something else.
