He stared down at his own food, jaw working like he was chewing on something he wasn’t sure he wanted to say..
“But, Luna girl... it’s hard to ignore you. You’re everywhere. I’m sure he knows you’re back.”
“I haven’t publicly shared that I’m back in the States,” I said, my fingers tightening around the stem of my wine glass.
Mostly for Nova’s safety, I added silently, biting my cheek. That part wasn’t mine to say out loud.
“Can I ask you something?”
My stomach tightened. I met his eyes. “Yeah. Anything.”
“What’s the plan here? Like, moving forward. You broke up with Will because you didn’t want monogamy. I get that. But... you and me, we’ve never beenjustyou and me. It was always the three of us.” He tapped lightly on the counter. “So what are we doing? Because if you’re here thinking we can go back to something, I don’t even know what that something is.”
I looked down at my hands, heart clenching, his words landing in the exact places I didn’t want to touch yet. Because he was right.
We’d never been just us. Every version of us had always included Jeremy, and without him, what were we? Something new? Something broken?
I swallowed hard, trying to sort through the knot in my chest. “I’ve been asking myself that same thing,” I admitted quietly. “What I want. Who I am without... him.”
Dirks didn’t move. He gave me space, even if I could feel how much he wanted to close it.
“I don’t have a clean answer. I don’t know if what I’m looking for is non-monogamy or not. I just know I don’t want to perform a life that doesn’t fit me anymore. I’m still figuring it out.” I looked up, my eyes finding his. “I do know I want to date you. I want to be with you.”
Dirks’s expression didn’t shift. Instead he held my gaze and memorized every word.
“I don’t have it all sorted, but I’m not looking for something casual. Whatever this turns into... I know I’m looking for someone like you.”
Dirks was quiet for a long moment.
“I can live with you figuring it out. I can be patient, but I won’t be a placeholder, Luna girl.”
My heart stuttered.
He leaned in slightly, eyes locked on mine. “If you want me, I’m all in. Even if it’s messy. Even if we take it one piece at a time. I need to know that I’m not temporary.”
“I don’t want you to be a placeholder.”
“I’m not him, Lune. I can’t give you the parts he gave you.”
I nodded, my throat tightening. He didn’t have to explain what he meant. Jeremy was chaos, adrenaline, heat. Dirks was gravity. Steady, grounding, the reason I could breathe again.
“Am I enough?”
I didn’t think. I leaned across the island, my hands finding his face, fingers brushing the stubble on his cheeks.
“I moved across the Atlantic Ocean for you, baby. Youareenough.”
He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them again, he brought his hands up, mirroring mine. He cupped my cheeks gently, thumbs brushing the edges of my cheeks. We stayed like that for a long while. Our foreheads nearly touched, our mouths only inches apart.
“Kiss me, baby,” I whispered.
He kissed me, slow at first, but then he deepened it, sliding his hands down to my waist, gripping tight.
He broke the kiss only long enough to move around the island, eyes locked on mine the whole way, before pulling me into him again. His hands found my hips, lifting me effortlessly onto his lap as he sat back down on the stool. I straddled him, my legs on either side of his, our bodies pressed close, heat building fast and thick between us.
“I missed you,” he murmured against my lips, his hands settling on my thighs like he’d never forgotten the feel of me.
I reached down, fingers grazing over the front of his sweat shorts with the faintest smirk. “You’re poking me.”
