“Then why are you doing this?” I dropped down onto the opposite cushion, leaning forward until we were level. “Why the fuck are you doing this to her, knowing it’s killing her?”
He dragged a hand over his jaw. “Because I don’t get why she can’t help me out. I’ve done everything for her. Sacrificed my entire fucking life for her. She can’t do one thing for me. I’m out of place. I don’t fit in.”
I stared at him. “You fit in if she says you fit in. That’s it.”
“No. You saw what happened with Austin.”
Yeah, it had been tense, but not for the reasons Jeremy thought. He was making it into proof when it had just been bad timing, and the fact that he couldn’t see the difference made me clench my teeth.
“You’re twisting it.”
“No, I’m seeing it for what it is. I walked into that house and then was kicked out. It’s so fucking obvious I’m not part of her world.”
The urge to shake him was overwhelming. “You don’t get to decide that. She does.” I threw my hands up. “You walked away like she was nothing. Somehow you think that’s proof you don’t fit in?” I shook my head, leaning forward. “No. That’s proofyou’ve convinced yourself you don’t, so you can keep pulling this disappearing act whenever it suits you.”
His jaw flexed, nostrils flaring.
Yeah, I hit a nerve.
“This hot-and-cold crap? It’s gotta stop. One day you’re all in, the next you vanish. You think she’s going to keep holding the door open every time you decide you feel like showing up? She’s strong, Jer, but she’s not made of stone. You’re cutting chunks out of her every time you do this.”
“You don’t get it.”
“No. I get it fine. You still want to be her number one, but without dealing with the parts that make you squirm. You want her in your life—your way. That’s not love, Jer. That’s convenience.”
His mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“If you love her, then love her. Show up. If you don’t, stop bleeding her dry and let her go. But this—” I motioned between him and the door. “This half-in, half-out game? It’s killing her. And it’s starting to piss me off.”
“I need her, too. I need her so badly.”
“Why? What’s the real reason?”
“Because I’m a fucking mess without her. Because I can’t stand how empty it feels when she shuts me out.” His hands flexed restlessly at his sides. “And yeah—because I’m broke. Flat broke. Debt collectors calling every day, the house bleeding me dry. I need her to sign, Dirks, or it all comes down on me. Why am I supposed to be all in for her when she won’t be uncomfortable for me? Why sacrifice my own comfort if she can’t just... sign the damn thing?”
He wasn’t wrong—hell, he was dead-on. That wasn’t fair. She needed to give, too. Their relationship couldn’t just be her carrying all the weight while he bent himself into knots to provehe was “all in.” She could be uncomfortable for him, especially if it meant keeping him from losing everything.
That’s where I could help. I couldn’t make her sign for him, but I could get her there. I could be the bridge so neither of them had to burn each other in the process.
“How long do you have?”
“Two weeks. But I’m heading down Monday morning.”
“I’ll help her get there by the end of next week.”
“Thank you.” He leaned over and hugged me—full body, no warning—and then ruined it. “Maybe I’ll let you touch me next time. Or suck my cock.”
“Jesus Christ, man. I’ve been waiting for that green light like a kid watching the clock on Christmas Eve.” I snorted so hard it hurt.
“How do I move forward?”
“Show up to the party. Have an actual conversation with Austin and Ledger. Be cool. Fit in because youwantto fit in for her—not because you’re trying to win points.”
He rolled his eyes.
“You’re in a better mood when you fuck, so maybe go earlier, apologize, and get it out of your system.”
Jer laughed. “You know... ” His voice softened. “I’m coming there for you, too.” He shook his head, looking away. “You mean a lot to me, too.”
