“Every time I’m here, I’m reminded how temporary I am. You want to know why I keep my distance? Because when I’m with you like this—when it’s the three of us—it’s like I’m holding something I know I’ll lose. And I can’t?—”
My heart thudded against my ribs as I stepped toward him. “Remember what I told you? That you’re my only family? I meant that. You’ve always been it for me, before London, beforehim, before all of this. You’re the one constant. The only person who’s never been just a chapter in my life.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Get over yourself,” I snapped, even though part of me was pleading with him in my head. “You fit in because I say you do. And if you walk away now, that’s on you, not me.”
I didn’t wait for either of them to respond. I yanked the door open and stormed out of the apartment.
Dirks was behind me, falling into step. We stopped at the elevator bank, and he leaned his shoulder against the wall, studying me. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Fuck no.” I spun on my heel.
“Okay . . . ”
I jabbed my finger toward a shadowy alcove past the vending machines. “There’s a dark corner over there. I want you to fuck me in it, let me forget about this, and then”—I swung my finger toward the elevator—“we’re going over to that house.”
His lips curled, slow, dangerous. “You’re serious.”
“Dead.”
49
jeremy
I almost didn’t come. I’d sat in the truck for a solid ten minutes with the engine idling, staring at Luna’s location. Part of me felt like a dick for showing up unannounced, but part of me also knew if I didn’t walk through that door, I never would. We’re supposed to avoid people from our past—at least that’s what they drill into you in rehab. But we were both in a good place. I was sober, he was thriving.
I hesitated one more second, then pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The first person I saw was Austin. He was standing with his back to me, talking to a group of people. My first instinct was to turn right back around and leave, but the words came out before I could stop them.
“Got room for one more?”
He turned sharply, eyes locking on mine. The smile was gone. His fists curled at his sides, like he was ready to shove me right back out the way I’d come in.
Before he could do it, Dirks appeared at his side, his hand landing on Hart’s shoulder like a warning and a comfort all at once. “He’s back from rehab, Hart. Hear him out.”
Austin shook his head. “You shouldn’t be here.”
I was a reminder of the worst parts of all of us. I was a walking trigger if he let me be.
My smile slipped, but I didn’t move. I’d changed, whether they wanted to believe it or not.
“It’s been a long road.” I flicked a glance at Luna—couldn’t help it. “I just came to say congrats. Luna invited me.”
“Not today,” Ledger cut in.
Before I could fire back, Nova stepped forward. She looked between me and Hart, reading the tension in the air, her mouth set in a firm line. “You should go, Jeremy.”
Her tone wasn’t mean. Just final.
Another woman appeared at Hart’s side. She sized me up in a heartbeat. “Maybe not today. Maybe this can happen another time.”
I could only assume this was Charlie and she was announcing her pregnancy.
And now here I was, standing in the doorway the same second Hart announced that his wife was pregnant.
A fucking family moment. One I had no right to be in.
I swallowed hard and nodded at him.
“Congrats, man. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
