Laney
Battle of the Voices in My Head
Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.
4:04 a.m.
“Miguel,” I groan as I pull a pillow over my head. “Why? Why so early every day?”
“It’s race day Laney baby! C’mon let’s get up and get after it.” He says as he sits up immediately, walks across the room, and silences the alarm.
“How? How is it possible you have so much energy in the morning?”
“I’ve trained myself to be a morning person. It wasn’t always this way.”
“No?” I yawn as I stretch while still cozy under the covers. “Tell me about that time then. When were you not a morning person?”
“In my twenties.” He says, subdued. I rapidly blink my eyes open and watch him for a moment.
Miguel’s normally straight shoulders are curled inward. Like he’s almost folding in on himself. What memories is he battling?
“Listen,” he says, talking more to the wall than to me. “I don’t want to get into it now before your race. You need to get in the right headspace. We’ll talk tonight. Or if you don’t want to go into it because we’re celebrating your victory then we’ll find another time. It’s in the past, and it should stay there if you ask me.”
“Miguel…” I lead, hoping to soothe the pain evident in his voice.
“It’s fine Laney, I promise.” He finally turns to me and I can see the brave face he is attempting to put on. I can see how hard he’s trying to move past this, for me.
“Okay, what’s my prerace plan then, Coach.” I try to sound as normal as possible.
“Cold shower.” Miguel starts listing the plan out on his fingers.
“Woof.”Yeah, that’ll put me in a much better headspace. Not.
“Breakfast.” He lifts his second finger.
“Yay!”
“Stretching.” He lifts his third finger.
“Meh.”
“Get to the transition areas and check things are set up.”
“Important.”
“I want you to know exactly where your bike is racked. So we’re going to practice walking from the swim exit to your bike a few times. Then I’ll take you to the T2 area and we’ll practice getting into your running shoes.”
“And to do all that I needed to be awake at four in the morning?”
“Yes ma’am. Your heat starts at 6:45 a.m. to try and get everyone across the finish line before the heat of the day really kicks in.”
“I suppose that’s considerate of them.”
“C’mon, I’ll join you in the shower.”
“Okay, you go get it started and I’ll be in once it’s warmed up.” I say sleepily as I roll over pulling the fluffy hotel covers with me.
“Nope, nice try Princess.” Miguel whips the comforter off and my naked body is all that’s left on the bed. “Get that fine ass in the cold shower.”
