"Yes." I whisper because anything louder is blocked by the thick taste of what I think is pride.
"Then you’ve already proven everything you need to. Loving it, waking up and wanting to do it, that’s the definition of success."
Tears roll freely down my face now. I sniffle and wipe the snot on the back of my hand.
"Is it? You really think that?"
"Yes, my love for your dad was clouded at times by my jealousy. Mostly, I was jealous he had a passion to love in the first place. I would have hated anything he chose to do on Saturday mornings. Could he have managed it a little better, made more of an effort to resolve the tension between us, sure. Like I said, we weren’t perfect. But I still kissed him good night and chose to live my life with him every day.
"Your dad never wanted to be a professional athlete after the Olympics. He loved his job at the plant and he just loved to run."
"Really?"
"Really. He got a small purse a few times early on, before you were with us. But then after that, he raced for the hell of it."
I laugh. "It can be hellish."
"So, what brought all these questions on?"
I take a deep breath. "Miguel, my boyfriend, he turned down a sponsorship offer without telling me about it."
"Ah, I see. And, did he have his reasons?"
"Yes." I can almost hear her nodding on the other side of the country. "And," I grumble. "I understand his reasons. He means well. I just don’t like him deciding for me."
"That’s completely reasonable." My mom’s support fills my chest with warmth.
"I think I understand how you can be angry with someone but still love them."
"It’s kind of a mind bender isn’t it?"
"Yeah."
"So, what’s your plan?" Mom asks.
"I’m not sure."
"Again, completely reasonable."
"Right." I laugh. "Hey Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks."
"Of course Laney.” She says gently. She clears her throat then asks, “When’s your next race?"
"Three weeks."
"You qualified after the last one, so is this just to keep you sharp?"
"Essentially. And, wait, you know I qualified?"
"Laney, you’re my daughter. I’m paying attention to your results. I can only imagine how hard you’re working. I’m proud of you."
"Thanks Mom." Another call comes in and my phone vibrates in my hand. Through the cracks on my screen I recognize the name on the caller ID. "I gotta take this. But, I love you Mom."
"Love you too, Laney."
