"No. Well, maybe. He wanted to fuck you. And he's the type of guy who would use the power he has to be your sponsor to get you into his bed."
Tears slide from the corners of Laney's eyes and I crouch down to console her. It's heartbreaking to see the pain I caused on her face. My heart cracks and crumbles but when I reach up to thumb away the moisture rolling down her cheek she bats my hand down.
"Don't touch me."
"Laney, baby…"
"Don't ‘baby’ me."
"I'm not, you just look so crushed and I can't bear it."
"You can't bear it?! Seriously? Miguel…I, I, I can't even." She stands and pushes her chair back quickly, marching off frustrated but then turns and raises a finger in my face. "You think so little of me that I would fall prey to a man using his position to influence me?"
"No, that's not what I was thinking." I was thinking she should be mine and mine alone.
"Oh, so it's just that you only wanted me to fall for you?"
"No," but I don't say it strongly. Yeah, honestly. I absolutely want Laney for myself.
"Got it. Well, you can fuck right off Miguel!” I hear her sniffle as the tears continue to flow. "For the record, I was attracted to you the moment I first met you and have loved learning from you. I am a stronger athlete now than I was at the start of the season and that's partly to do with you. But beyond that, you’re caring and kind and supportive and generous, and I love–"
She cuts herself short as turns and walks away. I remain frozen, praying there wasn’t a dropped past tense on that final word hanging in the air
The world crashes down around me with each of her fleeing steps.
Depths of despair pool at my feet.
Laney is the only good thing in my entire life that wasn't preceded by pain. Recovery came after the pain of addiction and a near overdose. TitaniumPerson victories came after the pain of training.
Laney came to me out of pure sunshine. She is joy and happiness and everything good I want in this world.
When I refocus and see her swinging a leg over the saddle of her bike across the lawn I take flight. I sprint towards her.
"Laney, wait!" I shout.
"Leave me alone, Miguel." She says back as she starts riding away.
I cut across the grass to where the trail will bend and I know she sees me coming. She starts to navigate to the other side of the path to avoid me so I do the only thing I can think of.
I lunge.
I end up in front of her and in slow motion I see her eyes double in size. She exclaims, and uses both brakes to come to a halt. Except, the bike tips forward and she comes forward over her handlebars.
Fuck, she could get hurt.
I brace for the impact and when she crashes into me I take the full force of both our falls. Landing hard on my ass.
Our bodies crash backwards and as the back of my head hits the grass I am grateful for the curve in the path and the fact that I didn't just pancake my brain on cement.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Laney yells as she scrambles off of me. "You could have killed yourself. Or me. Or both of us!"
"I wasn't thinking."
"No shit. You idiot." She brushes herself off.
"No, wait. I was thinking. I was thinking about you. And how I can't let you go. I can't let you walk away thinking something about me that isn't true.
"Laney, you are the light in my life. And I've been in the darkest places so I don't take this for granted. I was drawn to you the moment I saw you, too. I couldn't stay away from the chaos you left in your wake."
