“What?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer.
Instead, I blink one second, and the next, his arms are wrapped around me in a tight embrace. I blink back tears as my arms come up to hug him back, right as Maddox turns to look at us both before locking eyes with me. “Not what I was imagining when I made the threesome comment.”
It’s my turn to snort half-heartedly. “Give my vagina a break, you heathen.”
He winks at me before walking closer to Zander and I, placing a kiss at the top of my forehead, and tucking a curly pink lock behind one of my ears. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
I can’t help the sniffle that comes out of me when Zander releases his hold and backs away slowly. “Everything.”
“Mhmmm. And what is ‘everything,’ my love?”
My voice comes out high as I speak faster than I ever have in my life. “Erm, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that me and the love of my life just had really, really good sex with our best friend—who we’ve both loved as more than a friend for quite a long time but were too much of pussies to admit that because life is achaosfuckingshitstorm—and I feel guilty, but yet I want to do it again and again and again, and?—”
Zander cuts me off. “Breathe, Starburst.”
Him calling me that nickname immediately shuts me up.
Maddox turns to him. “Aye, that’s mine.”
“What’s yours is mine, baby,” Zander replies sarcastically before turning back to me. “C’mere. Shower time. All of us.”
I whine. “But we need to tal?—”
“And we can do that in the shower. I’d rather discuss the trajectory of our lives under hot water and steam while naked, than cold air that is absolutely not helping your anxiety or fight–or-flight response, yeah?”
Fair point.
I nod as Maddox takes my hand and softly pulls me toward the steam. As soon as the water hits me, I groan, and my shoulders relax instantly.
Zander chuckles. “Never question my princess-water-testing skills again, ma’am.”
I grunt and move toward the body wash, only to be tsked at and shoved in between two very muscular bodies. In seconds, both of their hands are on me, washing away the activities of our shared night. Zander grabs a bottle of shampoo and works it into my scalp while Maddox rubs a soapy washcloth over my flesh, and I sigh as tension leaves me.
Zander is the first one to break the silence. “I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what… any of this means, in complete honesty. I don’t know the rules. I haven’t had sex in six years before tonight—let alone been romantic since then. I don’t even know if I’m good at it all. I’ve spent all this time longing, or mourning, or mourning and longing. I’m… in the dark about a lot. It’s something I need to work through myself.”
My heart climbs in my throat, but I force the words out anyway, cutting him off. “If this is you asking for an out, we’ll gladly give it to you. You’re our best friend, Zan. We can pretend like this never happened.”
Maddox takes over. “Yeah, man. We’re all adults. We get it. Heat of the moment things. We can sweep it under the rug.Marley and I can go back home. It never happened, and we’ll see you tomorrow for the next race.”
Zander finishes scrubbing at my hair before he tugs at it softly, forcing a gasp out of me at the same time he forces my head back into the spray of water. His tone is sassy as he responds, “I wasn’t done.”
My own tone takes a sassy approach. “Well, would ya hurry it up before I have a fucking heart attack? Already fighting an anxiety attack here, ya dick.”
The sound of a slap sounds in the air before fire lights one of my ass cheeks aflame. “Ow! What was that for?”
He leans my head back up and reaches for a bottle of his conditioner, and Maddox smirks as he watches us, now covering himself in body wash. “The attitude. The night isn’t over yet. I’m still Daddy.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I turn to look at him quizzically. He continues, “I don’t know what I’m doing, or how to do it. But the one thing I do know? Is that if I were to be with anyone ever again, I would choose you two over and over again.”
The smile on Maddox’s face is immediate. If the whole “he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding” thing was real, he would definitely fit the bill based on his smile and body movement alone.
I bite my bottom lip as I stare at Zander. “Really? You want this? Us? You want your first relationship in years to be a throuple with your best friends?”
Maddox whistles lowly. “Well, don’t talk him out of it. Damn.”
Zander ignores him. “I do. We’ve all said it multiple times tonight. We want this. We’ve wanted this for years. Why not finally fucking do it? Especially after… well, all that.”
