“Oh,” she said in a small voice. “And you have been out there spanking and smacking random women’s buttocks?”
“Not random women,” I hastened to reassure her. “Just one woman. She is very discreet. I have no romantic interest in her, of course.”
Paloma still said nothing, her face hidden in the long curtains of her hair, and I longed to pull her into my arms, kiss away the hurt, but I settled for stroking her sweet little hand gently.
“I love you so much. Please, darling, say something. I understand that this is the worst betrayal. I will do whatever you ask to earn your trust back. I was always fully safe and took precautions, but I will take an STD test. You can come with me to every counseling session to hold me accountable.”
“This changeseverything,” Paloma whispered. “It’s all over now.”
“No,” I begged. “No, it doesn’t have to be over. Please say you’ll give me another chance. Say you still love me. I promise I won’t succumb to my temptations this time.”
Then my beautiful wife raised her head up. Instead of the tear-stained face I expected to see, her eyes were dry and there was a smile tugging up the corners of her mouth.
“And all this is about spanking?Spanking? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”
I stared at her in incomprehension.
“This changes everything because I married you for yourmoney, Silas. And if you’re stepping out on me like an idiot, that’s going to change a lot of things around here.”
CHAPTER 2
Silas
“What do you mean?” I asked, dumbly.
My sweet wife kicked off her heels and began to tear her pantyhose, rending them from thigh to ankle.
“Well, being faithful toyouwas a waste of time. At leastthat’sover now, and I don’t have to pretend anymore. Thank god, because I’ve missed the club.”
“Wait, what club?”
She balled up her shredded pantyhose and threw the remains in the garbage.
“Don’t worry about it, big boy.”
Big boy?What had gotten into my wife?
I couldn’t believe it. Paloma must be trying to be funny. There was no other explanation.
“What do you mean youmarried me for my money? If this is a joke, it isn’t a very good one,” I said sternly.
“What’s ajokeis me thinking you were faithful.”
She laughed heartily. “You had me fooled there, Silas. That’s a point for you.”
I felt panicky. Was that what this was about?
“I do love you!” I protested. “I will be faithful now, Ipromise. I’m turning over a new leaf.”
“Me too,” Paloma said cheerfully.
She pulled at her scalp with both hands, like she was going to tear her hair out from the agony of my betrayal, and before my horrified eyes her entire head seemed to come off until I realized it was a long, shiny blonde wig she was shaking in her hand.
Underneath was an absolute mop of hair, cut chin-length, honey blonde but a total mess, highlighted with different bright colors—pink, blue, purple, random orangey-yellow strands.
“That hair was awig?”
“Of course,” she said, shaking her head like a dog coming in from the pool.
