Julien needs to restart the game or something because this is a disaster waiting to happen.
“Why? Your dick didn’t put me off when you jerked us off together.” Oh God, that was Rafael’s first experienceeverwith a man. “And you know I don’t have a problem with your cum.” Ew. Don’t bring up the cup thing. “Why does it matter how experienced I am if I’m enthusiastic?”
“Because—” Julien cuts himself off with a frustrated whine.
“Why?”
Julien hides his face in his hands instead of replying. He can do normal sex. He’s a normal guy who can come normally and have a good time doing it.
Vanilla is also a flavor. Even if it’s the worst flavor.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Rafael is suddenly there, his light touch tracing Julien’s wrists, pulling down his shields. “I brought lube. Does that help?”
He brought lube? Julien told Rafael to buy lube and he did it. He made the effort.
That has to mean something.
“I like…” Julien gulps as he stares into those dark eyes. “Control. I like being in control. Even more so on a day like today when everything feels outside of my control.”
“Yeah? That’s okay.”
“But you’ve never been with a man before. What if I take it too far? What if I push you outside of your comfort zone?”
“Gay sex doesn’t have a monopoly on safe words. I’m familiar with them. If I get uncomfortable, I can say something weird—maybe ‘box box’? Then you’ll know when to stop.”
Rafael grins like he’s proud of his stupid safe word. Honestly, though, sometimes stupid is for the best. It’s memorable, at least.
“Do you really think you can trust me?” Julien asks, his voice barely a whisper. “Enough to be your first time?”
He’s never beenanyone’sfirst time. And his own first time wasn’t exactly?—
“I think the real question is whether or not you trustme.” Rafael pulls a small bottle from his pocket—the lube. Silicone. He did his research. “I’m confident you’d stop if I asked you to. Do you feel confident that I won’t hold back? That I’ll tell you to stop if I get uncomfortable?”
Trust flows both ways—it has to.
Julien nods slowly and reaches up, kissing the corner of Rafael’s mouth. “I trust you.”
Rafael returns the kiss. It’s just a peck on the lips, but his is more centered, more purposeful. “Alright, Mr. Control. How do you want me?”
Luckily, Julien has thought about it often enough. He doesn’t hesitate to say, “Clothes off, brace on. Let’s use the bed today.”
“Yes, sir.” Rafael grins as he pushes the lube into Julien’s hand and steps back. He reaches up with his left hand, hooks the collar of his shirt, and pulls the garment up and over his head in one smooth motion.
His hair’s ruffled, his smile’s bright, but Julien’s eyes are drawn downward when he realizes this is the first time he’s ever seen the Brazilian man shirtless in person.
Julien follows Rafael’s socials, but most of the content seems impossible—the result of makeup or harsh lighting or photo manipulation. It’s hard to believe that his body isreal. That thismuscular hunk of a man with abs for days is at Julien’s mercy for the night.
Rafael turns towards the bedroom, but Julien stops him. “Wait.”
“Yes?”
Julien’s hand shakes as he closes the gap. “You’re so beautiful.” His touch dips into the valley between Rafael’s pecs and trails down, over the deep ridges of his abs.
“I haven’t been able to work out as much, because of the injury.” Rafael flexes and every muscle becomes more defined. “I’m usually a little bulkier.”
That’s hard to imagine. “You’re perfect just like this.” Julien’s light touch follows his dark, wiry, happy trail down, but stops at his jeans. “Or you will be, once these are off.”
“Yes, sir.”
