Julien shakes his head. “No, winning the Drivers’ Championship. I don’t care about it, honestly. And wouldn’twinningevery single raceget boring after a while? What’s the point?”
Rafael pulls away and Julien misses the weight of him.
“You don’t want to win the championship?”
Not especially. “I mean, it’d be nice if it happened, but?—”
“It’d benice?!”Rafael gapes.“Nodriver ever gets bored of winning—especially not theDrivers’ Championship. Why else would you race?!”
“Uhh…”
Things change. At the beginning of the season, Julien wanted to prove he was just as good at racing as his brother. He wanted to beat him on his own merit—to prove he was more than a nepo-sibling that Thomas had to vouch for.
He did that.
Now, Julien has the entire grid fighting over him—everyone but the company under Thomas’s influence. They all want Julien on their team. Some of them are even willing to drop actual champions to make room for him.
Somewhere along the way, that feels like enough of an accomplishment.
“Oh fuck.” Julien groans and buries his face in his hands. “I don’t think I want to be a full-time driver.”
After years of vying for the opportunity, now that it has finally fallen in his lap, Julien doesn’t want it anymore.
He doesn’t want to do media days. He doesn’t want to suffer through another meeting where everyone piles on about how his perfect runs aren’t good enough. Hereallydoesn’t want to abandon his eRacing team during endurance weekends.
Julien screams in frustration against his palms and collapses onto his laptop keyboard. “I fucked everything up, didn’t I?”
Everybody is expecting to hear from him—expecting Julien to pick a team and lead them to victory. The entire world iswatching, but Julien just wants to disappear and keep playing his video games instead.
He must sound panicked for Rafael to rub his back in comforting circles. “What do you want?”
“I don’tknow!” Okay, yes. He’s panicking. “Lorenzo doesn’t want me anymore, so I have to dosomething. I have to pick somewhere and tell them—tell them what?! That I only want to be a reserve driver?! I can’t do that.”
“You can’t?”
Julien pops his face up and huffs. “I’ve been given an opportunity that only twenty people in theworldhave. Who would I be if I turned that down?”
An ungrateful child.
Rafael’s hand slows as he studies the smaller man. “Who would you be if you stole that dream from someone who actually wanted to race? Someone willing to fight for wins every single weekend?”
“A real dickhead.” Julien pushes his computer away and rolls over onto his back. He stares up at the ceiling in defeat. “I think I’m going to disappoint a lot of people.”
“That’s normal for this part of the season.”
The mattress squeaks as Rafael shifts. His knee finds the space between Julien’s thighs, and he brackets the smaller man’s head between his arms. Hovering over him, Rafael’s face is only inches away when he grins.
“So, do you want to stay with Ferraro? As a reserve driver?”
“I’dliketo, but Lorenzo?—”
“Tell him.” Rafael frees a hand and trails his fingers up Julien’s torso, bunching his shirt up as his touch glides over the warm skin. “He probably didn’t think you’d consider keeping your job.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Julien’s eyes flutter shut as Rafael softly rocks against him, pressing his hardening length against his thigh. “You seem excited.”
“About keeping you at Ferraro? Inside my garage as part of my team? Yeah, I could get used to the idea.” Rafael thrusts once, punctuating his point.
Julien laughs and pushes the larger man until he rolls away. “I wouldn’t be onyourteam. I’d be between garages like I always am.”
