“I love you, Grace.”
My body tingles at those words, feeling warmer and complete than I have ever felt in my life.
“I love you too, Mildred.”
Grace
October 6th
Itwirl Milly’s hair around my finger as we lie staring into each other’s eyes. We remain on the ground with a plethora of blankets enveloping us. Nothing separates our bodies between the smooth fabrics, just skin to skin.She is still here.
The sunrise begins to peek through the chapel's steeple, casting multicolored light from the stained-glass above. Her body glows with iridescence, a symbol of our love.
How ironic that the rainbow blooms across her body after our intimate confessions in the house of God? I smile at the thought, for just a brief moment, believing perhaps God would be okay with this.
“What is it, Shadow?” she asks as she pulls her arms up to lay on the side of her cheek.
“Just thinking about the irony is all,” I chuckle.
She grins back at me, poking my nose with affection. “I should like to think the heavens look at us in favor,” she says with sass as her foot lifts along my calf, rubbing in soft strokes.
I reach out and pull her closer to me quickly, causing her to squeal with giggles. I bury my head into her neck, peppering kisses and inhaling her scent.Only a few more hours.My body tenses at the intrusive thought, and Milly rubs my back comfortingly.
“This day shall not mark the end of our time together, Shadow,” she mumbles against my hair.
I glance at the clock against the wall and swallow. “It’s 7 in the morning, Milly. You’re late to the meeting with Professor Blackthorne.”
She sighs and places a kiss on the top of my head as she leans backfrom me, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “Surely, he can compose himself to endure but a few more moments.” She winks at me as she flips the blankets off her body, exposing every inch of perfection.
She stands up while I remain lying with my hands behind my head, taking in every inch of her curves. I start to lean up, desperate to chase those freckles with my mouth again, when she vanishes. I plop back onto the pillow and stare at the windows, hearing her voice echo throughout the room.
“As much as my heart would love to linger here with you for endless hours, I must see to it that every detail is in order for this evening.” She reappears a few feet away from me in her perfect attire as always; my favorite combination of her long flowy skirt, long button-up, and a vest.
I take in every detail of her, trying to commit it all to memory…just in case.I swallow, feeling my mouth dry with nerves. “Please be quick, Milly,” I whisper.
She smiles with sadness and nods. “Without delay, Shadow.”
And with that, she disappears in an instant, leaving behind only speckles of dust glimmering in the morning sunlight.
I remain lying down for a few moments, observing every detail of the room. I lean up and wrap the blanket around my now cold body to sit on the couch.
I pull the grimoire onto my lap and flip through the pages. Of course, her penmanship is precise. There are detailed recounts of trials and errors, and even sketches of different materials for different enchantments. Everything is perfectly organized.
I eventually approach the page regarding the banishment, and the smile fades from my face. I recite the passage a few times in my mind, memorizing every detail.
Once I find myself confident with the ritual’s verbiage, I close the grimoire and plop it back on the table and trace the edges of the mirror. I exhale a heavy breath as the anxiety begins to rise once more. “I don’twant to lose you, Milly,” I whisper to myself as my eyes start to fill with tears once again.
I look into the mirror, observing the moving swirls of light and darkness, “Please don’t take her away from me.” I find myself begging the inanimate object.
I shake my head at my ridiculousness and close my eyes as I lay my hand on the glass, a desperate prayer wringing from my soul. “God, if you’re here…if you’re listening, please don’t take her away from me. I know this is selfish, especially when I don’t talk to you, but I’m desperate. And honestly, I’m fucking scared. Oh, shit. I swore, I’m sorry. Oh God, I did it again.” I rub my face, fighting for the right words to ask someone who hasn’t been present in my life.
“What I’m trying to say is I understand that she deserves to rest with you, or in the Veil, or wherever lost souls go, I’m not sure. But please don’t take her away from me. I’m scared to live in a world withouther.I don’t want her to go through this again. Please, God. Don’t let her disappear forever… don’t let me disappear either.” I let the tears cascade from my eyes as they shatter across the glass.
“Shadow?” I lift my head up and see Milly approaching me with immediate concern. “Is everything alright?”
I wipe my eyes immediately and stand up, holding the blanket around me still. “Yes, I’m sorry. Yes?—”
“There is no need to apologize for feeling. I welcome every part of you, fractured or whole—it matters not.” I rush to her and wrap my arms around her waist, squeezing tightly as she embraces me just as strongly.
