Okay, maybe not pain, but I’m definitely riled up more than I have ever been since I lost my virginity in the back of my mom’s car. I continue to watch Walsh as his face turns a bright shade of red, tears slipping down his face as he clutches at the doorway.
“That football is going to travel the farthest you have ever thrown. I can see this being nothing but positives for the team.”
I look down at my notepad discarded on the floor and shake my head. “Fuck you!” But I can’t help it, the laughter starts to slip out.
“You all good in here?” Seth asks as he walks into the living room. He looks at us like we have gone totally batshit crazy.Maybe I have.He stares at us, one eyebrow raised as we continue to laugh at my pitiful sex life.
Walsh wipes tears from his face, still unable to talk properly from lack of breath. “Randy is writing a strongly worded letter to Netflix about the amount of sex scenes in the series he’s watching.”
Seth looks vacantly toward the television, back to me, and then finally down at the notepad. Bending over, he picks up the unwanted notepad and gives it a quick glance. “You spelled‘inadequate’ wrong. Also, you used ‘pompous’ in the wrong context.”
With that, Walsh loses it again and actually starts to look like he’s in pain from all the laughing. I fall back into the sofa as I flip him the bird. He clutches at his side as he heads into the kitchen, still holding his obliques like he has developed a stitch.
“You know if you actually ran and tackled while playing football, you might not be so out of breath right now!” I yell to his back.
Seth stands in front of me throwing my notepad to the opposite cushion on the couch.
“You good?” he asks with genuine concern as he shoves his two hands into his front jeans pockets. “Or do I need to break out the whiskey and weed?” He nods his head toward his bedroom.
I wipe my hand down my face and shake my head. “You know what. I am good.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” You know what, fuck it! I’ve had a moment, but she is worth it, totally utterly worth it.” Bring it on, Rachel, I’ve put up with pain before. Been in numerous fights over the years. Lost count of the number of tackles I’ve taken, unable to brace for the hit by guys twice my size. I’ve played football with bruised bones, strapped ribs, broken fingers, and a sprained ankle once. When I was fourteen, I fell fifty feet down a mountain embankment while hiking. Between games, training, physio, and ice baths, I can handle pain. I’m at the point in my life where with all the training and games, if I’m not in some sort of pain, then I’m not trying hard enough. Although, I’m totally new to this lovesick pain, but Iwillaccept it. One day at a time I will get there as long as I know in the end, you’re mine, just mine.
35
Rachel
“I still can’t believe he brings you a chai to class twice a week,” Jade says as she stretches her legs out on the green grass beside me.
The quad is busy, as Jade, Molly, and I have thirty minutes to relax and bask in the little sunlight we have been getting lately. Like my mood, the past month has been overcast and miserable. But lately the sun has been starting to peek back through the clouds, and so has my forgiveness toward Randy. Tiny glimmers of hope passing through the gloom.
“Yep, and the other day was the first time I accepted it and let him sit next to me. His leg rested against mine the whole class, and it was hard to concentrate on anything other than his presence.”
“It’s really sweet of him, Rachel,” Molly says, studying me for weaknesses and taking a sip of her soda. “You have to admit, the guy has to be feeling like shit for saying what he said.”
“Yeah, I know, and he was so good with Sam the other day.”
“Better than his real dad, and you don’t seem to punish him,” Molly adds.
I give her an indifferent look.
“What?” She shrugs. “You have a man wanting to spend time with your son. Since then you said that he’s asked abouthim and has genuine interest in him. That’s more than I can say for the sperm donor,” she says, taking a small bite of her peach. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m also pissed about what he said about our little guy, but he was just venting to his friend. We talk shit like that too. Hell, I call you a bitch all the time,” she jests, which makes me smile.
Jade looks over at me, adding her thoughts, “Plus, the poor guy had the weight of the whole college and town weighing down on him with the huge game that night. I have no idea how they catch a ball with that many eyes watching them. Television crews, coaches, I even heard there were scouts in the crowd…could you imagine that pressure? And more, the strip he had to do before the game, which I personally loved and have watched on YouTube many times.”
I roll my eyes at her from over my sandwich.
“Oh, don’t act like you haven’t seen that video and watched it more than once. I’m positive every female has it saved in their phone right now! I’m just saying, it’s obvious he really cares because you are right…” I look at her. “He could have anyone he wants, but yet even after all the rejection, all the unanswered messages and calls, he still wants you.”
“Okay, are you two done yet?” I say, swallowing my last mouthful. “I need to get to class.”
“No, actually,” Molly says, standing up and wiping the grass off her jeans. “He said what he said without knowing Sam, and I truly believe he would never have said that had he met him before then.”
“It’s true,” Jade says, standing as I do the same. “Our guy’s a little legend; Randy knows that now.”
Molly stretches her hands above her head. “We are just telling you what you already know, but as your best friends we knew all of this before you did.”
