“It’s bad, Shelby. Really bad…I called Sam baggage and she must have heard the conversation.” I wince as her jaw hits the floor, eyes wide in absolute horror as her hands still cradle my reddening fist.
“What!” Christian says, the look of disgust coming across his face. “You said that to her?”
“What? God, no! I was talking to Seth about how much I like her—and Ido. But she has a kid, and I used the word baggage to refer to him.” I glance at Seth like maybe he’s got the right words to fix this, or at least back me up. “I was just rambling—thinking out loud with no filter, saying shit about how hard that might be to navigate. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Swear to God, I regretted it the second the words came out.”
“Wow, you really do have a big mouth,” Christian mumbles.
I remove my hand from Shelby’s and stride into the kitchen, my friends following behind me. Guilt and hopelessness fall over me like a gray storm cloud,fitting!I reach into the freezer and grab an ice pack, pressing it against my hand as I turn to face my friends. They’re staring at me inshock, sympathy, and straight-up disbelief written across every expression. “I feel like shit! I didn’t mean it. I was just overwhelmed—between the pressure of the game and the reality that she has a kid. It’s going to be different, dating her.” I press the ice pack harder against my knuckles, welcoming the sting like I deserve it.Fuck,if I’ve messed up my hand, Coach is going to kill me. Though—at least the season’s over now.Fuck.She heard me. Shefuckingheard me. And that’s why she’s not calling me back.
“I can’t believe you’re talking about dating someone period,” Seth says, falling down into a dining room chair, pushing his long legs out in front of him.
Shelby leans against the other side of the kitchen island. “Do you know for sure that she heard you?”
“Well…no. But let’s be real, she came by yesterday, dropped off my jacket in the foyer while I was in the kitchen with Seth, talking shit and calling her son baggage. She never came into the kitchen. And I haven’t heard from her since. So yeah… I’m guessing she heard.”
“Maybe you’re just really bad in bed,” Seth shoots into the conversation.
I turn to look at him. “You know, right now I would be happy to take that as a possibility over the reality,” I reply back, removing the ice pack from my hand, making a fist a few times.
Christian watches my hand as I move it around. “You royally fucked up, man.”
“You think I don’t realize that?” I say, shaking my hand and placing the ice pack back on it.
“How’s the hand?” Seth asks.
“Hurts like a motherfucker,” I grit out, kicking gently at the island. The pain still shooting up my arm, an ache beneath the knuckles sharp and deserved. I welcome it. I deserve it.
“This is bad, Randy,” Shelby sighs.
I exhale slowly, my breath shaky. “I know, Shelby. Fuck... Iknow.”
25
Randy
A few days later, I spot Rachel across campus, walking alone with her backpack slung over one shoulder, eyes fixed on the path ahead. The campus is quiet during the school break, making her easy to find. I could lie and say I had a reason to be here, but the truth is, I came on the slim chance I might run into her.
“Gotta go!” I say to Jason, slapping him on the back as I jog toward Rachel.
I haven’t stopped texting her since I realized what she must’ve overheard. If anything, I’ve been texting more and still just radio silence. Maybe I’ve been blocked.
I slow my jog as I approach her, her head rises to mine with the sound of my footsteps. She looks at me, a deep scowl passing over her brow, though she doesn’t say a word. God, she is still so damn gorgeous. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed that perfect face, even if she is looking at me with eyes so fierce they could melt steel. “I know why you’re not returning my calls. I know you returned my jacket and what you might have overheard.”
She keeps walking, but my long strides easily keep up with her. She doesn’t act shocked that I figured it out, and her silence is confirmation that that is what happened.
“I know how my conversation may have sounded, but I didn’t mean it.”
Silence.
She looks up at me briefly, her hair hanging around her shoulders, with small pink clips holding a few strands back from her face.
“Have you been getting my texts?”
Silence.
“Can we talk?”
Her eyes don’t waver. “You called Sam baggage.”
