Nico stepped closer, glancing around before pressing a quick kiss to Mackenzie’s lips.“I’ll manage it.”
He said it like not coming wasn’t an option, and Mackenzie liked that.
He watched Nico get into the car and drive away, waiting until the car disappeared in the distance before turning toward his house.One day, he wouldn’t have to watch Nico leave.
* * * *
NICO DROVE AWAY, LEAVINGhis heart behind.He knew this couldn’t go on forever.He didn’t like hiding his relationship with Mackenzie, even though he wasn’t doing it for nefarious purposes.He knew how overwhelming everything would be for Mackenzie once everyone knew they were together, and he wanted to protect him in a way he’d never wanted to protect anyone but his twin brother.
That said everything, didn’t it?It told Nico how much Mackenzie mattered to him, even though, obviously, the way he felt about him was different from the way he felt about Chris.They were both an integral part of Nico, though, and every time he had to leave Mackenzie, he wished he didn’t have to.He wanted them to be together without having to hide, but at the same time, he wanted them to be able to meet without anyone asking questions.He didn’t want secrecy.He wanted privacy, and he knew he wouldn’t have it once he told his father about them.
That still terrified him.He didn’t think that his father would demand he break up with Mackenzie or anything like that, but he’d have expectations, and Nico was having a hard time meeting the ones he already had.Beyond that, his father would be hesitant because Mackenzie was a newcomer to the forest and a vulnerability.If someone tried to get to Nico through him, it would be fairly easy to do since he was human.He wouldn’t be able to shift and run.He wouldn’t be able to protect himself as well as a shifter would.Nico’s father would see all of that in the optics of being an alpha, but that wasn’t howNicosaw it.He just wanted to be with Mackenzie.Was that too much to ask?
He snorted.Probably, but he was starting to realize there was no backing down.Nico cared too much about Mackenzie to let him go.He didn’t know if Mackenzie was ready for the whole meet-the-family thing, but maybe it was time to talk to his father.Nico would have to, anyway.The worst thing that he could do was to let his father find out about his relationship with Mackenzie through other means.Then, he’d also be disappointed that Nico hadn’t talked to him, and Nico wouldn’t have any good excuses.
Well, beyond fear.He was terrified, even though logically, he knew he shouldn’t be.He was so scared he was feeling nauseous.
Everything would change once he and Mackenzie became public knowledge.Nico wouldn’t have to sneak out anymore, but he’d have to face even more expectations, but he didn’t have a choice.He and Mackenzie had been lucky as they snuck around, but that luck was bound to break eventually.Since it wouldn’t last forever, it would be better if they took the next step.
Nico didn’t understand how quickly he and Mackenzie had gone from being friends who didn’t know each other that well to this.He still didn’t know Mackenzie as well as he wanted to, but he felt like that was okay because he’d have years to find out more about him.Hewantedthose years.He could too easily imagine them together and their future.
Maybethatwas what he should focus on.Maybe instead of thinking about his fears, he should think about the future he and Mackenzie would share.
Chapter Ten
––––––––
NICO GROANED AND BURIEDhis face in his pillow.He needed his body to stop feeling sick.He hadn’t thrown up, but he felt like he was about to, with his mouth filling with saliva and his stomach churning unpleasantly.
All this stress was clearly getting to him.Everything was happening at once, and Nico was floundering.
Silas was still out there, threatening everyone in the forest, including the people Nico cared about.Nico was working with his father, which was stressful enough as it was because of how nitpicky his father was.Nico understood why, but he also wished his father’s behavior didn’t make him dread walking into the office every morning.
Then, there was Mackenzie.
Everything was going well with him.They were still seeing each other every time they could, which was a bit complicated considering how much time Nico had to spend with his father for work.Thankfully, his father hadn’t said anything again about his sneaking out.Sometimes, Nico caught him watching him, and he waited for something to happen, but nothing had so far.It looked like his father trusted him enough to let him do what he felt he should when it came to his personal life, which was a relief.
Nico understood that his personal life could impact the life of the entire clowder.He wasn’t just a man.He was an alpha—well, a future one, but he was held to the same standards by his father.He’d known all of this before he’d agreed to take his brother’s place as their father’s heir.He’d known it would be hard and complicated, but he’d wanted it, and he still did.
Nico knew he could do it.He could be a good alpha.He was still learning, but he was sure he could make his father proud one day.He didn’t think that being with Mackenzie would change that.There was more than enough time for Mackenzie to settle down in the forest and his new life, and for people to get used to seeing him around.He didn’t have to become the alpha mate right away, just like Nico didn’t have to become the alpha right away.
Nico’s stomach growled, and he groaned.How could he feel queasy and hungry at the same time?He wasn’t even sure he could eat anything without throwing up.He wanted to try, but not right before he was supposed to see Mackenzie.He didn’t want Mackenzie to worry or to ruin their day together.There was nothing to worry about.Nico was just stressed.
He needed something to change.There was nothing he could do about Silas or his job learning how to be an alpha, which meant that the only area in which he could eliminate stress was Mackenzie and their relationship.Nico hadn’t been honest with his father, and maybe it was time for him to be.He’d have to sit down with his father and tell him about Mackenzie, tell him that they were serious and that he wanted Mackenzie in his life long-term.Once he did that, he’d have to deal with the consequences, but he knew he could.He was strong, even stronger with Mackenzie by his side, and hopefully, not having to hide anymore would help him be more relaxed, which in turn would make him stop feeling bad all the time.
But not today.Today, he had a date with Mackenzie, and he couldn’t wait, even though he also dreaded it a little.He’d have to tell Mackenzie what he was planning on doing, but that was okay. Mackenzie might not be eager to have to start dealing with Nico’s father, but he’d do it.
For Nico.
Together, they could work things out.They could be as happy as Chris was with Jacob.Things hadn’t been easy for them initially, either, but now, every time Nico saw his brother, Chris had a smile on his lips.Nico wanted that for himself, too, and even more so, he wanted it for Mackenzie.
* * * *
MACKENZIE COULD SEEthat something was wrong with Nico as soon as he walked in through the front door.Nico was pale and a little shaky, and he went green around the edges at the smell of dinner cooking.
“I should probably go home,” he said, glancing back at the front door.
Mackenzie had been about to usher him into the kitchen, but instead, he decided to take Nico to the living room.He was pretty sure that dinner wouldn’t involve any of the food he’d cooked, anyway—or any food considering Nico’s state.“You don’t look too well,” he said as he guided his boyfriend toward the couch.
