I hang my head because the dam’s gonna break if I keep looking at him.
“You’re so incredibly strong. The man you’ve made of yourself despite what you grew up in is a testament to that. You’re a Ross even if you don’t realize it. We’re strong, determined . . . and incredibly athletic, obviously.” He chuckles on that last remark, which makes me chuckle and meet his eyes again—eyes that are swimming and spilling down his cheeks. He shrugs. “But we’re sensitive, too.”
I swipe at an escaped tear and try to blink the rest away.
“Would you give us a chance to be your family? Give me a chance?”
“I can do that.” I smile and shove my hand back into my pocket because I don’t know what else to do with it.
Jase’s shoulders begin to shake with emotion, and he grips my shoulder like a lifeline before he pulls me to him in a bear hug. I don’t know what to do with this kind of male attention—especially demonstrative fatherly attention. I hesitate for a moment before I wrap my arms loosely around his back and pat him awkwardly. Once I do, he squeezes me even tighter.
“I love you, son.”
His words are quiet compared to the roar of the ocean, but I hear them, and more, I feel them. The dam breaks. My breath hitches and I can’t stop the shaking. My fingers clench the fabric of his shirt. I try to clear my throat, but it comes out a sob.
“Thank you for giving me a chance.” His voice breaks and he’s clapping me on the back. Then he’s easing back, captures my head in his hands and bumps his forehead lightly to mine. Gripping the sides of my neck, he repeats, “I love you, son. I’m so proud of you. So proud you’re mine.” He swipes his thumbs across my cheeks at the wetness that won’t stop. “C’mon. Prepare to eat the best ribs you’ve evertasted.” Hanging his arm around my shoulders, we walk back the way we came.
I stuff my hands back in my pockets and let the cool wind dry my tears. I don’t speak for fear of another dam break, but the warmth in my chest, foreign as it is, expands with every step.
The ribsarethe best I’ve ever tasted. Everything is mouthwatering. They even offered donut holes for dessert especially for me. “Ever told us you don’t really like sweets but you’re a sucker for donuts, so we had to get some.”
Shanna sets a plate of cookies, cheesecake bites and donut holes in the center of the table. Ever and I insist they let us help clear dinner and clean up, which is another comic display of how families that love each other do things. The insults alone make it a competitive sport. Ever blends right in because, as she claims, her family speaks fluent sarcasm. It quickly becomes a guys versus girls scenario, which would’ve escalated into a full-blown water fight if Shanna hadn’t scolded everyone not to flood her kitchen.
After dinner, we play liars’ dice, their family tradition—they teach me and Ever how to play and we play for hours with Ever and Shaylee ultimately winning the most games. When Ever stifles her third yawn, I politely suggest that we should call it a night. I could tell Jason didn’t want it to end. I kinda didn’t either but . . . baby steps.
On the drive home, before we even leave the driveway, Ever grabs my hand and announces, “I love them.”
Kissing the back of her hand, I feel my smile in every muscle in my face when I reply, “Me too.”
Chapter 41
Everly
Two Years Later
“My little brainiac, the psychologist. Congratulations, my love. I’m so proud of you.” Julian kisses me so sweetly, picks me up and spins me around. The foyer is crowded with fellow graduates and their family members, but he doesn’t care. I laugh and try not to kick those nearby as we twirl.
“Where is everyone?” My head swivels as my feet land on the floor.
“Rushing to the restaurant. So are we, if I can navigate this traffic.” He takes my hand and leads us through the throng of people toward the door.
Jase insisted on hosting a simple graduation lunch in my honor when I refused the huge party Allie and Luke wanted to throw. Now that I’m his official team psychologist, or I will be now that I have my degree in hand, he said, as my boss, it was an order. He picked the same restaurant he took us to that first day he told Julian who he was.
It’s become one of our favorites.
Walking in, cheers erupt in the private room. All my favorite people in one place—except my mom and Via and Ryan. I blink away the tears that try to fall, but one escapes. I’m not sure why butterflies have taken flight in my stomach, but they’re currently trying to fly out of my chest. The excitement mimics low-level panic. I rest my hand on my stomach to calm the flutters and accept all the hugs and congratulations, take my seat next to Julian and just breathe amid the swirl of conversation. When the waiter comes around to take our order, I already know even though I haven’t looked at the menu. It’s gotta be the chicken broccoli alfredo.
As I tell her my order, Julian’s head swivels to look at me. I know he’s surprised. It’s a celebration, not a stressful event. Still he knows exactly what it means. It’s been our comfort dish almost since day one. Squeezing my thigh under the table, he places a kiss on my temple, then orders the Chilean sea bass—our other favorite on the menu since we started coming here two years ago.
I should feel ecstatic right now, but I’m way off. Probably overwhelmed. Despite being a semi-well-known mental performance coach, I don’t love being the center of attention. I still refuse to handle my own social media. Thank God for Callie’s team or I wouldn’t have a social presence at all. I chalk up my anxiety to the focused attention and take some covert deep breaths. I then try to zero in on the conversations around me, commenting and laughing appropriately.
Once our plates are placed in front of us, my stomach grumbles at the smell of my comfort dish. After everyone is served, I roll noodles onto my fork and take a healthy bite of creamy sauce, meat and vegetable just as a whiff of Julian’s sea bass hits my nose. I swallow thebite, but it immediately tries to come back up. Pushing away from the table, I make it out of the room, through the restroom door and into the stall before my stomach rejects the food.Shit!I rinse my mouth in the sink and stare at my wan reflection.Shit!I press a palm against my tender breasts and mentally calculate my last period.Shiiiiit!
Stepping out into the dimly lit corridor, I come face-to-face with Julian leaning against the wall across from the ladies’ restroom.
With his arms folded loosely across his chest and his eyes soft on mine, he greets me calmly. “Hi, sweet girl.”
“You know.” I swipe the back of my hand across my lips.
