“This will forever be my favorite feeling—you and me, like this.” His breath in my ear is a kiss on my skin. “You wrapped around me. Me inside you. Your skin on mine.” He inhales deeply. “Your scent all over me. I love you so much it hurts.” His words drag a sob from my throat. “Don’t cry, Ever. Shhh. I got you.” He rolls to his side, taking me with him, and tangles his fingers in my hair, cradling my head, and rains kisses along my temple, my forehead, my lips. He swallows my sobs with the sweetest kisses until I’m done.
Before I fall, I whisper, “I loveyou so much, Julie.”
His response is a shaky exhale and a kiss to my ear. “Me too, Ever.” Wrapping his arms tighter around me, his breathing slows almost instantly and everything goes still.
Chapter 38
Julian
“Is it weird he wants to meet with me, too?” I catch Ever’s eyes in the bathroom mirror as I finish shaving. I’m low-key excited to join Ever for lunch with her new boss, but I don’t want to intrude either.
“I don’t know. Maybe a little.” My heart deflates a little at her honesty. “I think he’s just a super nice guy and wants to know the people in his organization better.” She drags her nails lightly up and down my back, popping goosebumps on my skin.
I swipe a towel over my face and attempt to let her off the hook again. “I agree he seems very nice, but I’m notinhis organization.”
Ever rolls her eyes, her sassy dimpled smile taking over her face as she shakes her head. “It’s just lunch. If you want, I can go alone. Tell him you got held up with work.”
“No, I wanna go.” I surprise myself admitting that. “I like him. I was just saying—”
She kisses me and pats my cheek. “Good because I like showing off my husband.”Heart reinflated.
The restaurant Jason Ross chose is one I haven’t been to before. Ashley likes and can afford the finer things in life, but he’s a simple guy, so we tend to frequent more obscure places. It’s probably why I like him so much. He’s not constantly throwing his success in everyone’s face. We prefer small and local—like our sushi spot. This place is white tablecloths and both forks—which isn’t a bad thing. It just makes me wonder if my first impression of Mr. Ross was incorrect and he really is a snooty rich guy. It makes me wish I’d looked him up, did a little research. I’m not entirely sure why I care about his background other than that he seems to be interested in Everly and the twins—but mostly Everly. Not in a creepy way. He seems genuine. I guess today’s lunch will help me decide. I force myself out of my head and into the present as we approach him.
“Julian. I’m so glad you could make it, too.” He stands from the table and shakes my hand, gives Ever a side hug and pulls a chair out for her. “I wanted to get to know you better. Your story intrigues me.”
“My story?” The needles pricking the back of my neck make the hair on my arms stand up.Definitely should’ve looked him up.After all this time, I still fall back on wanting to be invisible.
The public persona of Julian McKay and the McKay Method is something Iput on—like a business suit. No matter how long it’s been, it still doesn’t come naturally to me to be on display, put myself out there, be recognized in public, treated likesomeone.I know the content creators add some of my personal stuff to my social media, but I ask them to be as vague as possible. I get final say in anything they post, and the personal stuff is minimal at best. So what’s he referring to? Is it the Todd stuff? A pit forms in my stomach. While Ashley’s people did their best to distance me—both me and Everly—from the wholeincident, police reports and court proceedings are public record. I look him in the eye, count my inhales and exhales and wait for his reply.
A waiter shows up to take our drink order. We all order iced tea and glance at our menus, temporarily distracted.
Ross clears his throat, drawing my eyes back to his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep or pry. I just meant the stuff with your stepdad.”
“My stepdad?” One eyebrow hairpins, but I don’t correct him.
“You know”—he flaps both hands in the air—“forget I brought it up. Let’s talk about something else. Anything else.” His smile gives chagrin.
“No, it’s fine. I know it’s a matter of public record and it’s a pretty crazy story. But I just meant that . . . he’s not my stepdad.”
“Oh. So your mom and he were never married?”
“Uhhh . . .”
“Okay, let me back up.” He holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes bouncing between me and Ever, who reaches under the table to rub my thigh—an attempt to soothe me, I’m sure. “Full disclosure, I’m intrigued because I’m from that area originally. I, uh, went to school with your mom.”
My eyebrows draw up into the fallen hair on my forehead as a low buzz roars in my ears.
“You knew—” I blow air out through puffed cheeks. I turn to Ever, and she smiles at me, but her eyes have taken on the deer look I rarely see. I reach for the hand on my leg and squeeze it in my own. “Did you know my . . . Todd?”
He’s already shakinghis head.
“No, he was older than me. Outside my teammates, I didn’t really have a life or any other friends. Being a student athlete didn’t leave much room for anything or anyone else. But . . .” He pauses and gasps out an exhale, lips agape.
I hold my breath. Something’s coming. I can feel it. I’ve no idea what, but I wish he’d just say it already. I knew this invite to lunch wasn’t random. Growing up with Todd and Brandi taught me to read situations, energy, body language. Even though I don’t have cause to do it much anymore in order to feel secure, some things—some habits—are hard to break.
I make myself speak in his silence, attempt to steer the conversation away from me. “That worked out well for you.” Realizing I sound like an asshole, I add, “A worthy tradeoff, yeah?” I force my lips up in a pleasant arc, teeth showing. I see it in his eyes. It didn’t work. I hold my breath again.
“It . . . I met her at a party one night. End of senior year. We were all drinking, celebrating. I was getting a full ride to UCLA; we were all graduating. Everyone had something to celebrate.”
