Lilly:What if we came tonight?
Me:Hell yeah. Hurry up. Just helping Allie all day. Come whenever.
Then I text the twins in our group chat.
Me:New development. He’s here. Guess I needed that pep talk after all.
Tatum:Oh. My. Fuck. Are you okay? What’d he say? What’d you say?
Lennon:Yeah. What she said.
Me:Haven’t seen him yet. Just his Jeep. Guess he’s gone all day with Ashley. Thank God! Lilly’s coming tonight though.
Lennon:Okay, tell us the plan, who we hate, how to act, when to show up.
Me:Lol you’re the best. I’m good. Just be here tomorrow to distract me.
I’m not sure when I became such a girl. I’ve never let myself have true girlfriends besides Via, then Lilly. I guess Lilly opened me up to the possibility of real friends—that I don’t share DNA with. Lennon and Tatum are like the ocean air though—like a full dose of negative ions. They just make you feel good being around them. Kinda like Lilly but different. I’m so lucky to have such beautiful souls in my life. Twin rows of tears roll down my cheeks before I even realize I’m crying.
Swiping them away, I trek down the short hallway into one of the two master suites the renovated cottage boasts. I asked Allie if I could have the lavender decor from the bedroom I used in the main house. Instead of transferring it all to the cottage, they had it replicated. I bawled when I saw it. The last seven months here have healed me in ways I never even knew I needed healing. From the summer classes Pepperdine approved, to meeting the twins, to settling into my new role with ASH, my nervous system is calmer than it’s ever been. Current development notwithstanding, I vow to keep it that way and let the pounding heat of the shower work its magic, despite the climbing heat of the SoCal summer day.
Chapter 18
Julian
“Man, Luke, I can’t believe how much ASH has grown since we met. Do you ever stop?”
“You’re one to talk. Although, I could stand to have you down here more. Your brand is blowing up. People want to see you in person.”
We just finished touring Ashley’s newest gym and sit down at the juice bar for a drink before we head to our next stop. He slides me one of the green drinks the young employee sets on the bar in front of us. “I know. I’m just so busy—”
“No, you don’t get to play that card with me. I see the numbers. Besides, I’m your friend. You can talk to me—tell me the truth. How are you doing with everything? Real talk. Like being here, for instance. You good?”
I take a long sip of the smoothie to give myself a minute to respond. “I’m mostly good. Real talk though I’m nervous as shit to see her. Like a fucking kid on the first day of school.” I shake my head at my declaration. “That honest enough for you?” I laugh and take another drink.
Clapping me on the shoulder, Luke gives me a sympathetic grin. “I can’t imagine, buddy. And thank you for showing up. It means a lot to me. To both of us.”
I shrug. “It’s good for business.”
“It is. But seriously. Fuck all that. Thanks for coming. Man to man, friend to friend, I’m glad you’re here.” He reaches his hand out to shake mine and, when I clasp his, he hugs me with his other.
It’s one of those moments Dr. Carver wants me to pay attention to—letting people care about me. Of all the people, Luke is the least awkward for me besides Allie. He’s so goddamn genuine and kind, it’s hard not to love him. “I appreciate you, Luke. I mean that. You make everything so easy. I can’t thank you enough for that. For everything.”
“C’mon. One more gym, then we’ll head back to Malibu.”
We stand to leave and I try to ignore the way my heart races at the thought of going back to the coast, wheresheis. I shove my hands into my shorts pockets to dry the clamminess.
***
Entering through the back of the house, I notice two things: a newer gray 4Runner parked next to my Jeep with a surfboard sticking out of the back window and the sunshine smell that hits my nose as soon as we step into the mudroom/laundry room off the kitchen. I stop as if I smack into a wall and brace myself to see her. I take a deep inhale to calm the adrenaline spike, but I suck in through my nose and forget the room is heavy with her scent. It’s like a fucking drug and I’m an addict. I blow it out silently through pursed lips as I trail Ashley into the kitchen.
Allie rushes to throw her arms around Luke and kisses him on the lips while my eyes scan the room.She’s not here.It’s just the three of us, but she must’ve just left. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed.
“How was the tour?”
It takes me a moment to realize Allie is asking me. I focus on her beaming face and lock in. Drug, indeed. My head is spinning. “Good, good. Impressive. You guys don’t slow down.” I match her smile, glue my gaze to hers.
She reaches for me and hugs me.
