Her fingers threading into my hair just like Ever does snaps me out of my memory spiral.Ever!
Swiping my damp cheek across the leg it rests on, I stand and find my voice. “I have to go find her.”
She nods slowly, her haunted liquid eyes never leaving mine. “Don’t . . .” My eyes scan the room like I’ll find all my answers there. “Can you stay? Fuck. I feel like I’m unraveling here. This . . . It’s too much.” I hold my forehead in my hand and take one deep breath, then speak again. “Taya, I need to understand this. But I have to find Everly.”
She nods. “Go, Jay. I’ll wait for you.”
Now I’m nodding. Relief flooding through my veins that I will get to Ever. I take her arm without asking and guide her through the glass doors and into the parking lot. “Those stairs . . .” I point toward my apartment stairs. “They lead to my apartment. The key is under the mat. Wait there. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She’s swiping her cheeks with both hands—familiar hands.
“Taya, please don’t leave.”
She’s nodding. “I’ll be here. Promise.” She gives me a sad smile and turns to walk up the stairs.
That I am clear-minded enough to lock up Brew reassures me I’m not going batshit crazy or in the throes of some delusional psychotic break. Once both the front and back doors are locked, I take off running. I make it back home in thirteen minutes. It felt like thirty. My Jeep is parked in the driveway. The front door is unlocked. Once inside though, the silence tells me she’s gone before I confirm it for myself. Taking the stairs two at a time, I burst through our bedroom doorway. Her drawers are slightly open. Her bathroom things are gone. My breathing gets shallow as I race back downstairs, through the kitchen and laundry room, but I already know. I fling the garage door open. It’s empty. Allie’s 4Runner is gone.
Reaching into my back pocket, I swipe up to open my phone and check her location. It’s off.Fuck.I call her, but I already know she isn’t going to answer. It goes straight to voicemail. My heart rate thuds slower, my shoulders dip as I slide the phone back into my pocket. I don’t even rub the raw ache in my chest. This is familiar. This is what Jayce Keller is, what he deserves. Nothing and no one. I slam the door shut, the sound of it rattling on the hinges satisfying. I slap both palms on it once, twice, repeatedly until the sting in my hands goes numb.
With my palms stretched above me flat on the door, I hang my head and struggle to collect my thoughts. She probably drove to Via. It’s past ten o’clock. I don’t want to call or text her this late. And what if Ever didn’t go there? Then I worry Via. Where else would she go? Lilly is four and a half hours away. She wouldn’t drive there right now. She’s never been to SLO. She wouldn’t do that in the middle of thenight. My logical, level-headed, smart girl wouldn’t. But that isn’t the girl that ran out of Brew and turned off her phone. I’ve never seen her like that. I don’t know what to do. Tapping one fist against the door while the other drags through the hair dipping onto my forehead, I beg the gods or the universe or whatever holy entity exists to keep her safe and bring her back to me. To me,Julian, and our life here. The life that is just getting started. The new business venture that is already setting records and promising to be not only lucrative but fun.
Why didn’t I tell her about changing my name? It never came up. And that guy, Jayce Keller, is nobody. Nobody that matters. Julian McKay matters. He has a life and a career. Friends and a home. And a woman he loves, who loves him.Right? She loves me. She’ll come back. She’ll talk to me. She’ll understand. I don’t even understand. Taya . . .
I bend over, rest my hands on my knees and take three deep breaths. Standing, I walk back through the kitchen and into the living room. I look for my keys on the entryway table. Not there. I walk out the still-open front door and check the Jeep. They’re inside. Removing them, I quickly lock the front door and slide into the driver’s seat to go back to Brew. To Taya.
Chapter 23
Everly
“C’mere, sis, I got you.”
“Don’t hug me or I’ll fall apart, okay. Just let me in. I gotta pee.”
“For sure. First door on the left.”
Once inside the tiny bathroom with the door closed, I let myself lose it a little. Just a little though. I turn the sink faucet all the way on so the water gushes into the sink just as a sob slips out. I pee quickly because I wasn’t lying. I did have to pee badly. There were no open rest stops for about the last two hours of the trip—at least none without a high sketch factor. So I held it. It’s now three a.m. and I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I don’t want to play twenty questions with Lilly. I just want to sleep—if I can—and try to forget the last six hours of my life. Or maybe wake up and realize it was just a dream and I’m back home in Blue Lake with Julian.Julian.Who even is Julian? Taya called him Jayce.Taya.What the fuck even is my life right now? Another sob slips out.
My brain wants answers. My heart doesn’t. If life had taught me anything, it’s that nothing lasts. Especially the good things. And if Julian isn’t Julian and our easy, happy life is over, I’d rather not know. I’d rather disappear and pretend like it never existed in the first place. Kinda fucking pissed I left my Kindle at home.Home.Do I even have a home anymore? That thought rips another sob from my throat.
“Davis, don’t make me come in there.”
“I know. I’m coming. Peed for like ten minutes.” I open the door, and Lilly is leaning on the opposite wall, arms folded across her chest.
“What happened?”
“Can we just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning?”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever you need.” Lilly slings her arm over my shoulder and walks me the three steps to her bedroom doorway.
“Nooo,” I protest. “I can totally sleep on the couch.”
“Nah, babe. I told you. I got you. Behold, the one-bedroom guest hack.” She sweeps her hand wide like a game show host.
Her room housed a double bunk bed and was decorated in the coziest beach theme of blues, greens, burnt oranges and golden yellows. She used the space well. Every inch invited you to take a deep breath and relax.
So I did. And was again overcome with exhaustion. I didn’t even unpack pajamas. Just dropped my clothes and crawled up the ladder and in between the sheets in my T-shirt and thong.
“Love you, Davis.”
