“Thanks, Evvie, for . . . Thanks.” He looks relieved as he says it.
I nod and wave as I turn to walk to the apartment in the dark and find Julian. Facing him sets my heart racing again; in a good or bad way, I’m not entirely sure. I’ve never seen him lose his shit like that before. I count my breaths as I climb the stairs.
Chapter 16
Julian
Pacing the floor in the tiny living room of my old apartment is giving caged animal vibes. Restless is an understatement. I want to hit something, and I don’t have a speed bag or a hanging bag of any kind. Hitting a wall is just going to make more work for me later when I have to patch it. I left the pull-up bar attached to the bedroom door for Noah. He asked me to. I pace down the short hallway and begin doing pull-ups until sweat slicks my arms and drips down my temples and back. It’s not working. I pace to the wall of windows and open the slider. I stand in the cooling air, regulating my breaths.
As they become calmer, quieter, I can hear the murmur of their voices—Ever’s and Chase’s. I can’t make out the words, but the soft tones, I tell myself, mean the conversation is calm. I hope it’s calm. I really only hear a male voice with an occasional mix of Ever’s lilt that I’d be able to make out no matter how faint.
With the chilly night air drying the sweat, goosebumps take its place. I turn from the doorway but leave it open and drop to the floor, doing push-ups until my arms shake—to ward off thechill, I tell myself. Grunting through the exertion drowns any hope of hearing their murmurs. When I can’t lift my body off the floor, I roll onto my back and start doing crunches. The fluff of the area rug doing nothing to cushion my spine as it rolls up and down on the floor. I welcome the pain and the sting of the sweat running into my eyes. I’m panting now, but I don’t stop. Once my spine is bruised from the floor, I curl my legs and back into each other and twist from side to side, dropping my joined hands on either side as I do. The burn in my abs has me clenching my teeth and audibly panting, but I press on.
Collapsing on my back, chest heaving, I allow myself a minute to recover, my arm draped over my forehead, one leg bent. My mind won’t stay blank though. The low-key panic is there in my chest. The irrational fear that I won’t be able to save her has my palm rubbing the empty heart tattoo. I roll over and force my body into downward dog and allow my hands and feet to sink into the floor. I push my heels back and breathe through the stretch. The ache in my chest eases with every breath.Allie would be proud.
After a few other poses to stretch out my torso, I wander into the kitchen and pound a full glass of water and half of the refill. Gripping the edge of the countertop, I hang my head and will my mind to settle. I decide on a hot shower for my next coping trick. I strip off my sweaty clothes as I pad down the hall. I don’t wait for the water to heat up and step into the icy spray, welcoming the tiny needles of shock. Within seconds, the frigid needles are replaced with soothing warmth. I hang my head in the steamy spray, bracing my hands on the tiled wall in front of me.
She’s fine. She’s safe. She’ll be here soon.
The pounding water is helping. It’s soothing not only my skin and body, but inhaling the steam is calming my racing thoughts.
Shutting the water off some minutes later, I slide the frosted glass door aside and reach for the towel hanging on the wall rack. My eyes freeze on the figure leaning on the door jamb. My shoulders sag, my exhale audible. “Hi, pretty girl.” It comes out on a sigh. I dangle the towel low in front of me, my dripping naked body forgotten at the sight of my girl standing so casually in front of me.
“Hi, beautiful boy.” The smallest dimple flashes with her half smile. Her gray eyes rake down my body and create a stir in my gut. “Just grabbing a quick workout?” She smirks as she asks.
“How’d you know?” I grin as I towel off, not bothering to cover my junk.
“You mean other than the jacked arms and chest? Maybe the chiseled abs or the veins in your neck. What the hell happened up here?” She’s grinning big now, enjoying herself.
I shrug, wrapping the towel around my hips and stepping to her. “Just distracting myself, I guess. How are you?” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and leave my fingers there, curled lightly around the shell. Her skin feels chilled to the touch.
She nods before she utters a sound. “Good, actually. I’m glad I heard him out.”
“And . . .?” I duck my head a bit so we’re eye to eye as I rub my hands up and down her arms to warm them up.
“Should we go ahead and have this conversation in the bathroom doorway, with you in a towel? Or . . .?”
“Fair. I left some fresh clothes in the bedroom.” I kiss her forehead as I squeeze past her and trek the seven steps to the bedroom and slideon a pair of gray sweats and a white T-shirt I stashed here after Lilly and Noah left for college. I find her leaning against the open living room sliders gazing out into the night. With almost no moon, it’s pitch black—barely a glisten off the water in the distance. I place my hands on her arms, the skin chilled by the breeze pushing against her. “You’re cold. There’s a change of clothes in there for you too if you want. Or we can head back to Allie’s—home.”
She leans back into my chest, her hair tickling my neck, the smell of her shampoo swirling around me—sweet sunshine. She nods against my chest. “I’ll change. Let’s just stay here.”
As she moves down the hall, I close the slider and pour us some champagne from a leftover open bottle. When she returns, I’m sitting on the couch with my legs crossed on the coffee table—the two glasses bubbling next to them. She raises an eyebrow when she spies them, walks around the table and sits, cozied up to me, tucking her bare feet under her legs. I reach for the flutes, hand her one and wrap my empty arm around her shoulders.
She takes a small sip with me. “Mmm, are we celebrating something?”
“How about the end of a long but beautiful day?”
“Okay.” She drags the word out like she’s waiting for me to elaborate.
“I’m glad we got to do that for them. I think they had fun. And . . . I’m . . . sorry I lost my shit on the beach.” I take another sip, trying for casual.
“It’s okay, Julie.” She sets her glass down and turns her body into me, tucking her hand between my thighs.
I set my glass on the side table with my left hand, dropping it down on my thigh after.
She picks up my hand, flattens her palm against mine and laces our fingers together. “I get it. I do,” she continues before I butt in. “Just like I kinda get now what happened with Chase.”
“Getas in forgive?” I can’t hide the doubt in my voice.
