A mixture of emotions was playing over Reed’s face as he digested what I had just told him. I watched as he rubbed the back of his neck and asked. “What did you say?”
I took a deep breath. “Jasper knows we used to be lovers. That’s why he reacted the way he did at the club that day.”
He didn’t look or sound surprised. “I know.”
“You know?” I echoed, sticking my nose in the air with a puzzled face.
“Yeah. I only realized it towards the end of the meal. How did he find out anyway? We agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone.” That wasn’t quite true, Reed wanted to tell everyone. I was the one who needed to keep us a secret.
“Jasper tricked me into talking about you and said I was getting too attached. I played it down, but he had me followed and saw us leaving school together. He brought it up again when he told me he was going to Connecticut with work.”
“And he was fine with you banging someone else while you were engaged?”
“Yes. We both agreed to keep our relationship open at that point and see other people until he came back to Newport. Get stuff out of our system.”
“And why the fuck would you do that?”
“So that we would have no regrets, thinking the grass was greener elsewhere. I signed that shit so young. It was a chance for us to both have a life before the agreement was honored.” I realized my slip-up instantly. I had saidagreement. I’d never told Reed my marriage to Jasper was an arranged one, as I knew he try to talk me out of it. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice.
He was clearly struggling to hold onto his temper. “So, I was a wild fucking oat, is that what you’re saying?”
“What if you were?” I waved his comment off and then rubbed my hands down my dress.
Reed’s jaw ticked, showing me how hard he was fighting for restraint. “Are you sure it’s wise to tell me youused meto my face?” I knew he would never hurt me physically, but I recognized that look; he was itching to put his hands on me.
Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Typical male response. Men do it to women all the time,” I stated, raising my voice.
“I’m not most men, and I know you’re lying.” Reed was right, but like fuck was I confessing to that.
I held my hands up. “We need to go back inside, Reed. He’s probably looking for me?”
“Fuck him. In fact, strike that, as you probably already are.”
I didn’t deny it; what would be the point? Maybe that would deter him from making suggestive comments. “He’s my fiancé, Reed. What do you expect?”
“So, you are sleeping with him? Funny, as in your office, you made it seem like that wasn’t happening.”
My brow creased. “No. I did nothing of the sort; you made up your own version of the truth. Just like you always do.”
Reed’s eyes flashed with temper. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Taking a deep breath, I attempted to calm my nerves. “I’ve read your notes, remember, Reed? Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I sifted out any pitying tones as I knew that would only antagonize him further. I was in two minds once I read about the abuse; one side of me felt empathy and despair, the other, annoyance that he’d never confided in me.
Reed dashed a hand down his face. “I told you some stuff, and anyway, I thought we’d agreed there's a time and place for that discussion, Doc. Didn’t you say that you kept your professional and personal opinions separate?” He was provoking me on purpose. Taunting me for not sticking to the code of practice I had thrown at him during our meeting.
“Usually yes, but these are different circumstances.” Surely, he understood that. We had loved each other. I may not have confessed that out loud, but we both knew it was there.
Reed folded his arms. “How are they different?”
“Because we have a history.
“That’s right, we do have a history, an all-consuming, cannot live without each other one, and so why are you trying so fucking hard to ignore it?” He dropped his hands and turned away. I watched the way he rolled his broad shoulders and how the tux pulled across that taut area.
“I’m not ignoring shit. You’re the one doing that.”
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I attempted to encourage him to face me again. “I’m sorry, Reed—for all of it.”
He turned around, and I dropped my hand. “Look. I wouldn’t have brought it up again, but you didn’t give me a choice; you missed our last session, and I was so upset by what I read. When I found out you weren’t coming...”
