Listening to Charlie laying out the options she is contemplating makes me realize several things. For one, she doesn’t seem to be embarrassed about not going to college – that is, if she decides to go for the program. The other is that she is so sure of herself. She knows what she wants, and she isn’t scared of grabbing it.
Meanwhile, it seems like I don’t even know what I want to do. All my siblings went to college, so did my parents, which is why I didn’t even contemplate other options. If only I knew what I really wanted.
Maybe that’s my biggest problem.
eleven
Road Trip
*FELIX*
The last couple of weeks before the summer break feel like hell. They always have been for me, as someone who doesn’t study easily, but now at college, it’s even worse. I have cut down on all my extra activities and now focus on studying. Dario helps me where he can, and even Arden – after I swallowed my pride – helped me with two of my papers.
I managed to get a passing grade on the papers and just barely passed on two of my exams. However, I failed two classes, and as for the last remaining one - the statistics one - I already failed twice. I had studied for it day and night, but on the day of the exam, I knew I wouldn’t pass.
With that, I have officially failed the whole course. Although I handed in my homework, it’s just not enough. I will need to retake the whole class next term.
There is no use in prolonging it any longer. I talked to my professor, and we agreed on me dropping the class for now. Well, at least this means I don’t have statistics lectures anymore.
Dario has some more exams, which he dives into with a quiet confidence I admire him for. For me, the summer break starts earlier due to this pathetic reason. To distract myself from being a failure, I focus on the pack by picking up my training and helping Aurelia and Arden with their work. Mom is still focusing on Titan and researching his demon heritage, so I try to make myself useful there, too. She is currently researching with the help of our broad library, and oddly, I do well with helping her. The letters don’t seem to jumble in front of my eyes as much as they did during my classes.
I don’t get this. Why can’t I be like that when it actually matters?
The sun is high in the sky when I make my way through the forest path to my favorite spot at the pack lake. We just had lunch, and around this time, a lot of the pack members are taking a break. It’s a rather quiet time, perfect to sneak away and be by myself.
Sitting here and watching the smooth surface of the blue lake is so peaceful. It makes it seem like every problem in the world is solvable.
“I thought I would find you here.” My father’s voice makes me almost jump up in surprise. Spinning around, I look at his amused expression. “I really shouldn’t be able to sneak up on you like that.”
“That’s not fair,” I say. “You are an alpha.”
“You are of alpha blood, too.”
“But you are reigning and have more experience.”
“Fine,” he chuckles. “I will give it to you.” He pauses. “Mind if I join you?”
“No, there is room for two.”
He sits down next to me, handing me a pastry he bought along.
“I really tried,” I say into the silence.
“I know.”
“You pay all this money for our education, but I just can’t deliver. Why are you not more disappointed?”
“You have always worked hard,” he says. “And I have always appreciated that. I still do. You are a very dedicated and hard worker, Felix.”
“But I don’t see results.”
“Maybe that’s because you look at the wrong things. If you shift your focus from school to other things, you do see plenty of results.”
If only it were that easy. I groan. “I talked to Charlie. She isn’t big on studying, but she knows exactly what she wants.”
“You don’t need to rush anything,” he says to my surprise. I thought he would want me to make immediate decisions instead of being so pensive and indecisive. “Your summer break lasts almost three months. Why not recharge your batteries and give your brain a rest?”
Something in his voice piques my interest. He usually talks like that when he- “What are you plotting?”
