I gaze at the item. It’s a graphic novel Dario is reading, a tad too dark for my liking, but he seems to be really into it.
“You are the best,” he says. “I owe you.”
“You can pay me back with food,” she grins.
“Got you.”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Felix and I are going for a run.”
She nods, continuing chatting with Dario while I watch them. This is it, my usual problem. Gisela isourfriend, but it seems like she connects with Dario in a way she can’t with me. Maybe I am just reading way too much into it, as Dario says, but this insecurity keeps gnawing at me.
After Dario takes the graphic novel back to his room, we are finally ready to shift and run. Ever since I shifted for the first time, I’ve gotten addicted to running like this. There is something about the way I can speed through the forest, one with the nature around me, that’s truly grounding. It makes my worries feel less burdensome.
The feeling became enhanced after an incident forced me into a wheelchair for a year or so. My wolf managed to heal me once we came into our power. But that one year taught me to appreciate the things I have.
Dario might be connecting with Gisela, but he is right; other friends share a connection with me, too. It doesn’t mean anything, and I need to stop moping around. Dario can interact with our friends on a deeper level because of his interests; maybe I should focus on that, too, finding someone I can build a connection with. I never used to be so self-conscious, and I don’t know what changed.
nine
Out for Distraction
*FELIX*
Our run lasted late into the night, and once we returned, I went straight to bed, sleeping like a baby. Helps that it’s the weekend, and I don’t need to be on campus. My goal is not even to think about any lectures or tests.
To my shock, however, Dario is studying when I finally seek him out later in the morning.
“How long have you been up?” I ask.
Dario turns in his chair to look at me. “Probably since 7 a.m.,” he smiles. “So, you are feeling better?”
“I think I recovered,” I say, tossing myself on Dario’s bed.
I am not sure if that’s true, but I do feel a bit better. Sometimes I feel these lows and insecurities, only to later wonder why I felt so down.
Even if I am stupid, I have other things going for me!
“I am so glad,” Dario says softly. “I was starting to worry about you.”
“Well, for one, you are always worried-“
“Not true,” he argues. When I raise my brows at him, he chuckles. “Okay, maybe a bit true.”
“For the other, I’ve decided not to think about college and how my brain doesn’t seem to work properly.”
“I am not sure if that’s a real solution,” Dario says quietly. “But I support your positive mindset.”
“I am sure I will work something out.”
He smiles. “I know you will. You always do.” He leans back. “Are you going out tonight?”
“Yeah, I got an invitation to a beach party,” I say. “Well, beach is a stretch, it’s more like a lake shore, but I think I will head there.”
“A surfing event?”
“Nah, if anything, it would be kitesurfing as it’s the kite surfing club organizing it, but it’s a party for everyone.” Activities and sports involving water have always intrigued me. I have been surfing for years, and recently also took up kite surfing and kayaking. I used to be very focused on water sports, until I had that severe accident and spent a year in rehab. I took up other sports during that time of recovery and discovered a love for hiking. “Do you want to join?”
