“But I’m not very interested in meeting him,” I add.
“Okay.” Micah’s tone is light now. He’s obviously fine with ending the conversation too. “With my luck, you’d fall in love with him at first sight, and I’d have to go through the rest of my life watching you make goo-goo eyes at him.”
A laugh spills out of me unexpectedly, exactly as Micah intended. A surge of affection rises inside me at the warm, blithe spirit at his core that simply won’t be quenched. I reach over to give him a quick hug.
He’s startled but hugs me back immediately, resisting when I try to pull away.
“Micah,” I complain against his shirt.
“Be kind. Let me have this for a few seconds longer.” His arms are tight around me, and I can’t help but love it.
I lived so long without anything like this.
I hate the idea of living without it again once he’s gone.
“Micah!”
This time the voice saying his name comes from a distance and behind me. We pull apart simultaneously and turn toward the sound.
Lilah. The small, pregnant woman who’s one of Logan’s soldiers.
Micah’s friend.
She’s grinning as she approaches, wearing jeans, an oversized T-shirt, and a gun holster on her belt. Her hair is, as it’s been every time I’ve seen her, in a long, braided ponytail.
Micah’s face brightens as she gets closer. “Where’s Deck?” he asks with a questioning gesture.
“He’s finishing a job for Haskell. He’ll be done soon.”
Well, there’s no question that Cleverly has fallen to Logan. Maybe I shouldn’t be disappointed because everyone needs to decide what’s best for them in this world.
But I am.
“Hey, Kat. I’m Lilah.” The other woman smiles at me with genuine warmth. “We kind of met the other day.”
“I remember. Hi.”
“So y’all are really together?” Lilah asks, turning her attention to Micah.
Something inside me twists reluctantly at the question. Either at the admission of an obvious truth or at anyone else knowing about it. I’m not sure which.
“We’re as together as she’ll let me be,” Micah says easily. “And she doesn’t like nosy questions.”
Lilah giggles. Like me, she doesn’t seem naturally a giggler, but Micah just brings it out in people. “Okay. Got it.” She looks back at me. “Sorry for the nosiness.”
“No worries. How long have you been with Logan?”
“I joined up with him a few months before we moved to this area. I was completely on my own before, and I’m not as brave and competent as you. I wasn’t doing good living by myself, so I really appreciated being adopted into his group.”
Adopted. Not hired or recruited. Like Micah, she obviously views Logan and his people more like family than a business arrangement.
Ridiculously, irrationally, ludicrously, it makes me jealous.
Like they’re all sharing something I’m not a part of.
And it doesn’t matter that I don’t want it. It doesn’t matter that Micah keeps offering it and I continue to reject it.
I still feel kind of left behind.
