“I’m going to sleep right now.”
I lie still and slow my breathing, but I don’t go right to sleep.
I don’t sleep for a long time.
The next morning,Micah seems better. No fever, and he wakes up when I do at dawn.
He manages to get out of bed and out of the camper to use the outhouse and splash water all over his face, hair, chest, and arms.
I watch him in the faint morning light, wishing I didn’t like the look of his body quite so much. Out of bed, it seems bigger. More powerful. He’s wearing nothing but his underwear and the strips holding his bandages in place. His shoulders curve into well-developed armmuscles. The shape of his cock is visible beneath the thin cotton of his briefs.
He’s not hard right now, but it still looks… substantial. Tempting.
His thighs are thick, and I even like the coarse hair on his body. He’s got a lot of it.
Tearing my eyes away, I turn slightly so I don’t leer any further. The man was close to death thirty-six hours ago. I shouldn’t be lusting after his body.
I shouldn’t be lusting at all.
I have no room for that in my life any longer.
“Y’okay?” he asks abruptly. It sounds like he’s shaking off the water like a dog.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Dunno. Seems like you got all tense for some reason. You mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad at you. You look like you feel better today.” I turn around to face him.
“I do. I’ll get out of your hair as soon as I’m dressed.”
I nod since this is exactly what I want.
Exactly what I need to happen.
We go back into the camper so he can put his clothes on. What he was wearing when he arrived is completely ruined, so he pulls clothes out of his pack. He’s got jeans and gray sweatpants in there, and he chooses the sweatpants with a T-shirt. Obviously because the sweatpants are easier for him to get on. It takes a while for him todress. He’s trying not to show it, but every move pains him.
My stomach gets squirmy as I watch.
“All right. I’m ready.” He stands up slowly. “Can I get my weapons back, or are you keepin’ those for souvenirs?”
“You can have them back.” I step over to pull them out of the compartment where I put them. I’m about to hand him his two guns and three knives when I catch him wincing. I freeze.
“I’m fine,” he mutters, grabbing on to the doorframe when he starts to sway.
“Damn it!” I burst out.
“I said I’m fine!” He’s gone white, but he gives a choppy, breathless laugh. “Now I sound just like you.”
“You’re not fine. If you try to leave now, you’re going to end up in a dead heap on the trail. Forget it.”
“You want me gone, so I’m goin’.” He meets my eyes evenly. His are sober now. A deep, dark blue.
“I don’t want you gone so much that I’m willing to give up all the work I put in keeping you alive. You can stay another day or two.”
He’s standing very still. “You sure?”
“I’m sure.” I meet his gaze without wavering. “I mean it.”
