It feels like his eyes are on me as I set down Aria’s plate, but I’m too self-conscious to check.
I know better than to not pay attention to my actions. Lorraine might be mean and bossy and entitled, but Aria is often petty.
And I learned a long time ago that, if even for a few seconds the attention of the room flickers over to me, Aria will retaliate.
I should have expected it and prepared, but I got distracted by the mildest of compliments. So when Aria tips her full glass of apple water, the liquid sloshes all over me.
“Oh no,” Aria says in her most fake sweet voice. “What a shame! You really should have paid more attention to what you’re doing.”
The cold liquid soaks through my dress. I’m momentarily stunned, pulling the wet fabric away from my skin.
“How clumsy,” Lorraine says. “When will you learn basic etiquette?”
“Aria spilled it.”
I regret the words as soon as I say them, but they slip out without forethought. I’m annoyed and soaked and exhausted and so tired of dealing with this kind of thing. Even so, I almost never fight back even in small ways. Whenever I’m tempted, it’s always about injustice.
Kindness or generosity is not anything I’d ever expect. I know I have to earn my keep in this world, and I work hard every day to do so.
But I didn’t spill that water. Aria did.
And to the injustice is added mortification about all this happening in front of Mason.
“Don’t blame someone else for your faults,” Lorraine snaps. “Go to the kitchen and clean yourself up. When you come back, make sure you remember your manners.”
I’m so, so tempted to snap back again, but nothing good will come of it. So I bite back my instinctive response and return to the kitchen.
I’m not much of a crier in general, but every now and then, with too much thrown at me all at once, it spills over into brief tears.
I sniff and fight to pull myself together as I blot my dress as dry as I can.
I wish Annabelle were here.
She promised we’d always stick together, but she broke that promise. We’ve been apart now for more than a year, and my life is so much worse.
I wish Father were still alive. Or Mother was who I used to think she was.
I used to have a family, but now I have nothing but this.
When the kitchen door opens, I jerk in surprise, straightening up and swiping away the last of my tears with the cloth.
Mason strides in, carrying the dessert plates.
Lorraine’s voice sounds from the other room. “There’s no need for you to bother with that!”
He sets the plates down on the counter and stares at me.
“I’m sorry about all that,” I tell him.
He was nice to the stray dog. He was nice to me. He doesn’t need to hitch his fortunes to Aria. Why on earth is he doing it?
“Why do you stay?” he asks, his voice soft and gruff.
The question stuns me, so I can’t reply immediately, but I know exactly what he’s asking. And why he’s asking it.
I lick my lips nervously before I finally admit, “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
It’s not like anyone has many options in this world.Ever since the asteroid hit thirty-nine years ago, life has been a struggle to survive for everyone on the planet. Only in the Central Cities can we be truly safe, and even here that safety rests entirely on doing our duty and fulfilling the roles we’re given.
