So I do. “I’ve gone a really long time working for other people without anyone acknowledging what I do for them. I’m not clever and fearless like Annabelle. I’m not braveand brilliant like my father was. I have no unique skills or gifts. I’m not used to feeling like what I do matters, so it means a lot to know that you appreciate it.”
I almost never share myself so openly, so I’m immediately worried that I’ve been weird or inappropriate in my confession. But Mason doesn’t look awkward or uncomfortable. He appears to be thinking about what I’ve said.
“I think I get it,” he says at last. “I felt that way in the Capitol. Like all my work and effort was poured into a dark, bottomless hole. It’s different here. Working on the farm. I can… see what my work accomplishes. I hope you can feel that way here too.”
“I think I will.” Now both of us are self-conscious again, so I decide it’s time to change the subject. “So you didn’t like living in the Capitol?”
He shakes his head. “No, I hated it. I never would have gone if they’d given me a choice.”
“What about it was bad?”
“All of it. Being forced to leave my family, my village, my… my life. Living somewhere so big and being surrounded by nothing but buildings. No clear views of grass or trees or anything. Then I had to live in barracks with other laborers, so there was never any freedom or privacy. The supervisors were hard and mean. I didn’t have any real friends. I mean, I never have. Had friends. Other boys always treated me different cause I didn’t live in the village. But the Capitol was worse than anything. I hated it.”
“It sounds awful. And it must have been hard that the only way you were allowed to get away from it was for your parents to die.”
“Yeah. That made it even worse.”
“Why did you never get married until now?”
It’s an impulsive question. Not a wise one. It visibly surprises him.
“Sorry,” I say quickly. “It was just a random question. You don’t have to answer it.”
“It’s okay.” He’s thinking again. His eyebrows pull together. “My parents didn’t want me to marry young. They had a happy marriage, and they wanted the same thing for me. So they wanted me to wait until I found someone I really wanted to go through life with rather than jumping in with whoever was around and available. But then I turned twenty-one, and I wasn’t married and had no role in the village, so I was conscripted into labor at the Capitol. And there I was only surrounded by fellow workers. They were mostly men, and a lot of them were… rough and crude. I wasn’t used to that, and they didn’t like me. I had no time or energy for socializing anyway. So…” He shrugs. “Here I am.”
“I hope your parents wouldn’t be disappointed.”
“In what?”
“That you did end up jumping into marriage with whoever was around and available. With me, I mean.”
He’s frowning as he stares at me. “I didn’t.”
“You didn’t what?”
“I didn’t just jump in with anyone. I picked you on purpose.”
My cheeks grow hot again. I focus down on my mending. “Oh. Okay. That’s good then.”
I know he means he likes my cooking and he thought I’d be easy to get along with, but I still like that he picked me out on purpose out of all the other girls in the village he could have had.
I like it a lot.
I’m tired enough to fall asleep right away, but I wake up in the dark a few hours later when I hear a strange sound.
Not immediately knowing where I am or what’s happening, I wake fully as I sit up in bed and listen.
I hear the sound again. My stomach jumps nervously.
I get up and walk softly to the bedroom door and peek out.
It’s dark in the hall and in the main living area beyond it, so I tiptoe out farther to peek into the kitchen.
It’s Mason. His body is lit only by the light over the countertop. He’s naked except his underwear, and he’s gulping down a big glass of water he just poured.
Now that I know what I was hearing, I should return to my room and go back to sleep. But I don’t. I stand and stare at him.
His body doesn’t look as big without his clothes on. He’s got broad shoulders and long legs and developed musculature. It all looks very nice. Very strong. Very man. But his waist is lean and his ass is tight. His hair is rumpled messily.
