“I’m goddamntalkingto you, Iosif!” she exclaims. Her eyes—those infuriating, otherworldly eyes—flash with hurt.
“I don’t want to fucking talk to you,” I hiss back.
She flinches like I’ve struck her.
Fine. We can be fucking miserable together, in that case.
“You don’t mean that.” Her voice cracks, and still, she doesn’t relent. It infuriates me. She infuriates me. “Something happened. It must’ve. Why won’t you just talk to me about it? Why do you always just flip a switch and pull away from me?”
I snort bitterly. “Nothing fucking happened.”
“Yes, it did,” she argues. Her hands reach for me again. I cleanly sidestep before she can make contact. Her bottom lip wobbles. The hurt on her face leaves devastation in its wake.
A part of me wants to undo the last few hours. To stop, snatch back the words polluting the air between us. To apologize.
A larger part whispers darkly,Good. Get it over with. If she leaves now, it might not be so bad. At least then it’ll be your choice.
“I’m tired,” I say, so cold I’m almost numb.
Instinctively, she switches gears. “Then let’s have some tea, okay? I’ll make so—”
Cajoling me. Trying to fix this.
“I’m tired ofthis,” I clarify. “It was stupid of me to think I could pull you into my world and make it work. Just because my brothers did it doesn’t mean it’ll work for me. I’m different. I’m not made for playing house. This isn’t going to work out. You’re settling in and getting comfortable, when you said yourself you don’t need me anymore.”
“I didn’t—”
“Janella, please.” I hold up a hand. I hate the way she recoils away from it.
Isn’t it proof? She still thinks I would fucking hurt her. That’s the kind of monster I am, in her eyes.
“You can keep working at the café. You’ve made friends there, too, right? The prenup will let you keep all the money in those accounts. You even have the skills to defend yourself now. What are you even getting from me besides a fancy address and a last name you never wanted in the first place?”
Her eyes have reddened. They shine with tears. She keeps shaking her head.Silly, beautiful woman.
Eternally handy with a knife, I twist it inside myself a little further.
“Don’t get me wrong, I respect the hell out of it. I’m proud that you’ve learned to be smart enough to know an opportunity when you see one. I know you see what I was saying in the beginning.”
“That was a long time ago,” she chokes out, on the precipice of a sob.
My heart is shriveling up in my chest.
“You don’t have to keep playing the devoted wife. You can figure out your next move, and we can just end this.”
“Stop it,” she shouts, shaking all over.
Here we are again, in this hallway. Her shaking and me out of my fucking mind. All that’s missing is her dripping blood down her arm.
My spine goes rigid, bracing for a blow.
Her voice drops to a whisper. “You’re a coward. I think you’re terrified because you care about me. You’re so used to living your life by the seat of your pants, because if you never plan, then you can never mess one up, can you?”
Her words slip like a blade between my ribs.Stab, stab, stab.
“But you do make plans around me. You’ve been making them since you met me. And I think that scares the hell out of you. You can’t just grow up and admit that, so you have to drive me away. And run away. Maybe start avoiding me again, so I can get the message without you ever having to be the messenger.”
“You don’t know me,” I say. Even to my ears, that’s weak.
