I hate everything about it.
“You’ve reverted to being that scared, spineless girl I pulled off that fucking wall,” I press. “I was getting used to you talking. Snapping back. Having opinions. Being a general pain in my ass.”
At least it shocks her into facing me.
Even if she looks startled, her bottom lip quivering and her eyes shining, wide-eyed. “You like when I’m a pain in your ass?” Her brows knit together. “That sounds unhealthy.”
“Yeah, well, I’m fucked up. Aren’t you the one who loves to point that out—that I’m fucking nuts?” I counter. “I like that more than whatever the fuck this is.”
Her chin juts out when she’s trying to be brave. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You were fine, and then you weren’t. One minute, you’re laughing with the girls. Then you just—” I snap my fingers in front of her face. “Disappeared. All the light in you. Gone, just like that.”
Her head drops to stare at her lap. “I’m right here.”
“The fuck you are.” I turn my head, unable to stand the sight of her cowed all over again. I stare out the window, scowling.
Then, “Otto. Take us through Back Bay. The long way.”
“Yes, sir,” Otto says, and smoothly switches lanes.
“Wh—” Janella starts, and I can feel her eyes on me. I don’t look back. “Where are we going?”
I say nothing. Maybe I’ll feign sleeping, too.
My plan is shot to shit when she pleads, all choked up, “Iosif?”
She sounds so fucking miserable.
Involuntarily, my body turns back to her. I’m being an asshole, and I know it.Fuck.
“I’m not taking you back to the penthouse to hide in your room. Not until you tell me what the hell happened,” I say.
“You can’t just—”
I glare at her. “It would blow your goddamn mind the things I can do, doll.”
Janella looks winded, then stricken. I let her grapple with it, unflinching. Unwilling to budge. I’ve made her my responsibility, whether either of us likes it right now or not.
I’m ready to prod her again when she finally gives in.
She talks so quietly, I almost miss it.
“It was too much for me, okay?”
My body angles toward her on its own.
“What was?”
“All of it,” she says, looking down at her hands. “With your family? They’re a real family. All of you are. The way you are with each other. I—”
She curls in on herself with every word until she looks like a touch might shatter her.
“You?” I push.
“I never thought… I never knew families could be like that, okay? Is that what you want to hear?” The words burst out of her. “It was—You were all loud and messy and… just adore each other. It’s all over the place. Everyone talks over each other and talks constantly, but listens, too. Listens and means it.”
“And that’s… not good?” I try to catch up.
