“I was told the horrible truth. I wasn’t who I thought I was. Everything was stripped from me. My family wasn’t really my family. They hadn’t rescued me but had killed my parents. They’d stole me. My friends were no longer my friends. Even if they didn’t know before, everyone knew then. I wasn’t one of them anymore. I was one of you all, their enemy.”
Cowboy seemed to be on the edge of his seat.
“Snakebite saved me from death. His dad wanted to kill me.” I thought about it briefly but didn’t mention aboutlittle Betty. For some reason it was still too painful. “Serpentine locked me in the basement of the bar. I thought it’d be temporary, like when LuAnn would ground me for back talk or something. I’d stay out too late, and she’d say I was grounded for six months but after a day or two she’d forget about it.
But it wasn’t like that. At first, it was just lonely, boring. LuAnn would come every day and make sure I was fed and well. She’d bring me something to do, some knitting, some paper so I could draw or write. After all, I was still young enough, fifteen. I remember the month before I was locked away, LuAnn tried to talk me into going to a public high school. I’d refused. LuAnn, she was sweet and all but had a learning disability herself. She said I was wasting my sharp mind being home schooled by her. But that wasn’t actually true because most of my classes were online. If I hadn’t refused to go to public school, someone would’ve been looking for me—that’s all I could think. Of what ifs. What did I do wrong that could’ve changed my fate? What did I do to deserve to be locked up? At the time, I couldn’t even imagine it’d get worse.
And we fought every time LuAnn came down to see me. I wanted out. At that point, I didn’t care who I was or what had happened. I wanted my life back, period. I’dforget Halley and be Star. She said give it time. She said that the men in the club would come to their senses. She wouldn’t let me rot down there. She promised. But one day, LuAnn didn’t show up. She was sick. That’s what Serpentine said, anyway. I hadn’t eaten all day when he showed up with some dinner. He was drunk, and you can guess what happened.”
Cowboy was hanging on my words, but his changed expression let me know he understood my meaning.
“I told LuAnn about it the next day. Thinking she’d save me. Finally let me free of that cage. But when she left, she never came back. After that, well there was a year or two thatitdidn’t happen that often. Like she was still up there looking out for me. I prayed not to god, but to LuAnn. By the time I turned seventeen, it was like I was on the menu, although a limited menu. It’d be Serpentine or one of the officers, a guest or two. At least once a month, I think. I’d cope by forgetting it ever happened. When it happened again, the pain would be like new for a while until I wiped it from my memory again. Then about a year ago, it seemed anyone who wanted to come a try it, could. Come to find out, LuAnn had died. She’d been shot. And then I killed one man…”
I looked over to gage his reaction. Cowboy seemed impressed.
“I’d gone crazy. People go crazy. It was a total accident. But I wish I could’ve killed them all. I escaped a few times, too, at least to the top stair. Anyway, once his wife, LuAnn was out of the picture, Serpentine decided I’d make a good old lady.” I shook my head. “The man had been like an uncle to me when I was little. He was never the father figure Diablo had been when he became my guardian, but I never thought he’d be the one, let alone the first one... But then he claimed sole access to me, to my body. By that time, I was already in the family way. That didn’t matter. I’d been before, a few times, actually, and I’d lost them.”
When I thought about it, I wondered if that was why I couldn’t name the baby? It could be.
Cowboy was unmoving, still listening.
“Don’t know why, guess he was lonely, but Serpentine took an interest in toying with me. I think that’s why he was hanging Scar over my head. But I never counted on Scar to rescue me. Snakebite had taken his own liking to me. See, there were years I didn’t see him at all. Idecided to use his renewed attention to my advantage… Well, as you know, he was helping me escape.”
“He was rescuing you… first?”
“I guess so.”
“You never really loved him?”
“Love? I don’t think I knew what that was. Like when you thought you had it good with your family until you had something better. I thought I could love Snakebite, if I had to. When I didn’t know better.”
“But you don’t have to settle, now.”
“No, I don’t.”
Now that the air was clear, suddenly there was something in that air that hadn’t been there before. Cowboy leaned in, and I thought he would kiss me. Our lips hovered over one another’s. His hot breath hit my lips. “Another of our many firsts,” he breathed.
Oh, hell, a knock at the door interrupted him.
“Scar says to lay off the girl.” Root came over and hauled him up and away from me. Cowboy got in a good punch before Chug came in. They double teamed him and drug him out the door.
Around midnight, I’d just gotten up to feed the baby and laid back down again. Being a milk machine was pretty lonely business without Cowboy snoring beside me. There was another knock, but this time on my window. Could it be? I padded over and saw just who I missed. The window was so high, I saw only his head. Pulling the window open, I looked closer and Cowboy’s eye was all swollen. I squatted down and laid a kiss on it. After that he caught my face and planted the kiss from earlier on me, but it had an abrupt end as he drew away. To my pleasure, he’d stepped back to jump up and climb in the window.
Inside he instantly pulled off his shirt.
“I thought you wanted to take things slow, hold hands and kiss.”
He came toward me, “Tonight, Little Lady, I’m only planning to kiss you—all night.”
Without another word he crossed my room and sat on my bed. Luckily, Wanda had brought over a crib for the baby. I went to turn off the lamp, afraid someone would look in the window, but he shook his head. I remembered he had those sex videos on his phone. Suddenly, I had a bit of stage fright.
Cowboy hauled the sheet up and made a cavern for just the two of us. I crawled in and snuggled close, purposely bumping myself against him. He slung one arm around my middle, tugging me to him until we were chest to chest, sharing the air. When I stared into his grey eyes, did I see a future staring back at me?
Our smiles touched. Then I went for a kiss this time. Tender at first, our lips tasted lips. Slightly parted, his lips smacked against mine with more force. His tongue darted out, wet. I licked the taste of him from my lips. He tasted like liquor smelled, sweet and dangerous. Cowboy’s teeth gently caught my lower lip. He tugged, drawing it into his mouth. Our tongues twisted wildly for what seemed like forever. I moaned against his mouth wanting more. He couldn’t oblige quick enough. Our eyes locked again as his hands reached to undo my blouse. He stopped.
“We’re just kissing. My hands aren’t coming to the party tonight. Take off your shirt.”
I did.
