Cowboy’s rough hand gently warmed my cheek, letting me know it was okay. He looked at me with a smolder that would knock an angel over. With hair almost as dark as mine, his pale grey eyes shined like gems. The sexy beard that lined his jaw had gotten shaggier. I knew what he wanted from me, although I’d just had a baby a week ago.
All men wanted it.
He’d been so kind, I wanted to give it to him. I fluttered my eyes, half-pretending, like I’d gotten used to doing down in the basement, but half—realer than ever. I drew the baby from suckling my breast, patted his back a few times and laid him in the recliner that we’d hauled over to the bed to be a makeshift bassinet. Good, little darling was sound asleep. Cowboy, still smoldered when my gaze returned to him, but his eyes were lower. I hadn’t put my breast away. I went to but paused. Instead, I let him get a real good look at my nipple, now an eraser head, a bead of milk hanging off the ledge.
“Would you like a taste,” I teased him.
He stammered, “That wouldn’t be right.”
“I can always make more.”
To my delight, Cowboy leaned over and closed in. Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited with bated breath. Never in my life had I wanted a man to touch me, period, let alone the way I craved the feel of Cowboy’s strong hands on my body. His jagged skin landed on my breast, and I squirmed, needing the sensation below, the sensation I knew so well but had never truly enjoyed. My innards flipped, promising, I could love it with Cowboy.
To my dismay, he picked up my breast and tucked it away, buttoning my gown. I sighed as quietly as I could. His lips grazed my forehead, as he explained, “You don’t climb on the saddle if you’re not ready to ride.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want to start anything I can’t finish.”
Face to face with him, I studied his eyes, finding nothing but sincerity. Who was this gentleman? Was he for real?
I gripped the back of his neck, wanting to pull him to me, inside of me. His forehead touched mine and he let out a ragged breath that torched my lips, but he didn’t move to kiss me. I couldn’t understand it. I could almost taste his kiss, but one never came. The baby made a noise, and we both stilled, waiting for the silence that eventually came.
I exhaled in relief.
Cowboy whispered, “Besides your brother would have my hide.”
My voice came as quiet, but frantic all the same, “Would he not approve of you? Are you not a good man?”
He shook his head a smidgen, his forehead rocking against mine. “I’m not sure any man would be good enough for Scar’s little sister.”
“You scared of him?”
“No.” He laughed a little, still quiet like. “I’m not scared of anything, never have been. But he’s been pretty tore up over you, has been for forever.”
I bit my lip, licking a little. “Well, I don’t want to talk about him. I’m not a little girl anymore. You know. You’ve seen all of me,” I whispered. I remembered him delivering the baby. It’d been such an ordeal. I was in so much pain. And him cleaning me up. That must have been a horrible sight. I filed this thought away for later.
“And I’ve been rescued.” I ran my finger down his bare chest and rested it on his hard abs. “I’ve always wanted a Cowboy to come, take me away. A man who’s not scared of anything or anyone. A man not afraid to take what he wants. A man who wants me. Don’t you want me?”
“Oh, Darlin’, I do, but what I plan to do to you can’t be done to you right now. You’re on the mend. I’m not going no where’s darling. I’m going to get you back to your brother.”
Some part of me knew it was too soon for sex, but his words angered me. I no longer whispered, “What if I don’t want to go around another motorcycle gang?”
Cowboy rose away from me, sitting back up on his side of the bed, his absence making me cold. “We ain’t nothing like those devils, Darlin’.”
That was for damned sure. They wouldn’t have left me alone, healing or not. Being left alone made me feel unwanted, unloved even though the men who’d used me, fathered this child had never loved me. Could Cowboy love me? I suddenly wanted nothing but for this man to love me, me and my little darling.
The next morning when I got out of the shower, I forgot my robe on purpose. Cowboy had breakfast waiting for me, two sunny side up eggs and toast. “I’ll never lose this baby weight eating three square meals a day,” I said, fully aware I was underweight with the baby out of me. Still, I didn’t look too bad besides the deflated stomach. My boobs were bigger than ever. I sat in the seat naked.
His back was still turned, pouring us some coffee. “I don’t think you have much to worry about… Didn’t they feed you?”
“Not regularly,” I said, matter of factly. “Even when we found out I was pregnant.” I took a bite of toast.
Cowboy turned around and got an eye full. His face twitched. He started to open his mouth but said nothing. Did he think I didn’t know I was naked? Fully aware I wasn’t playing with a full deck, I wasn’t offended. I decided to play along. I put my hands in my hair and really showed off the girls, letting them jiggle. Then I returned to eating. “Can you pass some butter.” I spread some on and when I took my next bite, I moaned seductively. “It’s been ages since I’ve had real butter. LuAnn had high cholesterol.”
“Who’s LuAnn?”
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
