“He’s not going to come around,” Harper sniffs. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her cheeks are chapped pink from her salty tears. She hasn’t stopped crying since Jaylen walked away from us.
“Sure he will,” I tell her. “He’s just heated right now. That whole thing was a mess. He just needs some time to cool off.” I press the bag to my lip again, wincing as I do.
“I’ve never seen him that way before, Ash. The last time I saw him hit someone, he was playing high school football,” she says.
College football. We were playing CSU. Ricky Stangle. That kid had it coming. I smile at the memory, and then come back to the moment.
“You remember that?” I ask. “You were probably in kindergarten.”
“You don’t really forget watching people rush a field and pile on top of your older brother after he shoves a linebacker under stadium lights,” she says, and I have to bite back another smile.
“Listen. I know this seems like a disaster,” I say.
“It’s a catastrophe. We have passed disaster,” she says.
“I really do think he’s going to come around.”
Harper stands up, letting the jacket she borrowed from Jaylen fall from her shoulders. “And if he doesn’t? Ash, this is my brother. Your best friend. You work together. You own businesses together. One that might have just tanked. People had their phones out. I bet it’s all over social media.”
“I don’t care about social media,” I say. “What I care about is you. I want you to be okay.”
“But that’s the problem,” she goes off. “You and I caring about each other is how we got into this mess in the first place.If it weren’t for us getting all hot and heavy in Costa Rica, we wouldn’t be where we are now.”
My heart hits the pit of my stomach at the sharpness of her words. “What are you saying? That you regret being with me?” I ask.
Harper bites her lips, and half shrugs. And it’s like I just got punched in the face again.
“Look,” I say, shoving to my feet. “I don’t care if he doesn’t like it. We are together, Harper. We are happy. I have never felt like this before, and I’m not going to throw it away just because your brother can’t wrap his brain around the idea of you not being the Virgin Mary!”
Harper’s chin quivers again. Tears form in her eyes as she continues to hug herself.
“I don’t know,” she says. “Maybe…”
“Maybe what?” I ask.
“If breaking up with me meant that you could salvage your friendship with Jaylen, is that worth it to you?” she asks, and I shake my head immediately.
“No. Absolutely not. Maybe I should have been honest upfront. But he is my best friend and should accept that we love each other and know I am not going to hurt you.”
Harper looks up at me, and tears stream down her cheeks. She throws herself into my arms and buries her head in my chest as she cries. “I just don’t want to lose him,” she sobs. “I don’t want to lose either of you.”
“I know,” I hush her. “I know. And you won’t. Now come on,” I peel her off of me and guide her down the hallway to my bedroom. “It’s late. Nearly three. We are exhausted, and nothing is going to make any sense until we sleep.”
Harper sits on my bed while I rummage through my closet for a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. She changes into them andcrawls under the comforter on my bed. I shed down to my boxer briefs and slip into bed with her, pulling her against me.
“It’s going to be okay,” I reassure her. “We will figure it out.”
“You promise?” She asks, and I kiss her on top of her head, which is resting on my chest. “Yes. I promise. I just need you to trust me.”
“Okay,” she says so softly I almost don’t hear her. A minute later, her breath becomes rhythmic, and her body settles into mine as sleep takes her. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same luck. An hour crawls by, and I replay the evening in my head over and over again. If I am being completely honest, I have no fucking clue what I am going to do.
This is Daniel’s fault. If we had just gotten through the night. If we’d just been able to tell Jaylen ourselves in a way that was sensitive, we probably wouldn’t be where we are now. But that’s not what happened. It happened in front of a room full of people at the opening of our goddamn speakeasy.
But even as I think the words, I know it’s not true. It’s not Daniel’s fault that we are where we are, even if he did it on purpose. It was simply his way of taking his revenge on us for crashing two of his weddings.
No, it’s my fault. I lied to my best friend, and I didn’t protect Harper the way I should have. If I’d had any balls at all, I’d have protected Harper the way she deserved. I slowly let the exhaustion take me; I know it’s up to me to fix it. I just hope I can figure out how.
Chapter 40
