“Moving too fast?” I ask.
“It’s just…you went from thinking you were in love with Daniel to spending a week alone with Asher, claiming you can’t stand him, to fucking around with him, to actually fucking him, to now dating him.”
“Wow, thanks for the support,” I say, and she gives me a softer expression.
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” she says.
“Darlene, no offense, but I have known Asher my entire life,” I say. “I don’t see how us deciding we want to take that friendship to the next level is moving too fast.”
“You said you weren’t going to fall for him because he was off limits…and you did. You said you’d never give up your V-card before matrimony…and you did. While I could never live that life, I was kinda proud of you. But here you are giving that up and lying to your brother. I just think you should be careful. Asheriskind of known for being the romantic who never settles down.”
I open my mouth to say something, but then close it again. I know all of it is crazy. I know a lot of things have happened that I swore never would. But at the same time, I don’t believe Ash would hurt me; not on purpose. I also don’t believe he is getting with me just to wave it in Daniel’s face. As far as the whole noncommittal part is concerned, if he is afraid of falling in love, there must be a reason. The same way there is a reason I didn’t want to give myself up. But things have changed. I have changed. Hopefully, in time, everyone else will see that, including Darlene and my brother.
Later that night, I’m getting ready for a date with Ash. Ever since we “made it official,” he’s insisted we go on real dates. Atfirst, I was a little nervous, but after he reassured me that we would be going somewhere no one would know us, I gave in. A real date sounds lovely right now. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the occasional rushed groping in the office.
I pamper myself a little more than usual in the shower; shaving everything and moisturizing everywhere. Afterwards, I stand in my underwear and a satin robe, searching the closet for the perfect thing to wear. I pull out all the dresses from the other day, the ones I considered for ole what’s-his-nut’s wedding. I’m not giving him any verbal real estate by saying his name out loud anymore.
As I stare at the dresses, I am tempted to try them all on, parade in front of the mirror a bit and maybe send Darlene a selfie or two. On cue, my phone buzzes, and I don’t even have to look at the text to know it’s her.
Darlene: So what are you going to wear?
Harper: Hold, please.
I send her a screenshot of my bed.
Darlene: Brave. It’s freezing outside. I suppose it’s not a bad thing if you have to find ways to stay warm.
I roll my eyes, but laugh.
Harper: We aren’t going to be outside.
Darlene: Has he told you where he’s taking you?
Harper: Nope. He wants it to be a surprise. But he’s insistent that wherever it is, we won’t run into anyone we know.
Darlene: *cough cough*...your brother.
I let out a sigh, this time without the eye roll.
Harper: Very funny. Now help me with the dress dilemma. He’s going to be here soon.
Darlene: What, no fashion show?
Harper: Not after the brother comment.
Darlene: LOL, fair enough. Red. Always red.
I think about that. The red is hot. It fits my body nicely. Showcases my boobs without needing the help of a push-up bra. But then my eyes trail over to the green, and I remember what he said about it.
“I bet the green is stunning…”
That settles it. Green it is!
I leave Darlene hanging for now and promise her a photo later. If she’s lucky, I’ll send her a selfie of both of us. In which I will delete immediately after and tell her to delete immediately after because I am that paranoid. I can’t risk Jaylen seeing a photo of me and Ash before we tell him.
After I get dressed, I check my makeup again. Everything looks good, not too much and not understated either. I check the time. He should be here any minute. I go into the kitchen and fix myself a small drink. I need something to take the edge off because I’m nervous.
“Why am I nervous?” I ask out loud. Then I feel silly for talking to myself. “What do you think, Bowie?” I ask my beta fish. “Should I be nervous? I mean, I’ve known this man my whole life. He’s even seen me naked.” I stare at the tank almost like I am waiting for a response. Then I feel silly for talking to a fish.
